RESILIENCE

~4~

JOSHUA

We walked silently through the quiet and lonely road. I increased my pace as I tried to put up with the speed the woman in front of me walked

My mom

Yes she told me she was my mother

"But where exactly are we going?" I asked as I got to a halt and began to pant heavily.

Is this woman a sprinter or what?

She walks so fast that I got exhausted trying to keep up with her pace

The woman stopped walking

She stopped

I will finally get to see her face today

I staggered to come before her to enable me see her face. To see my mother's face

My very own biological mother

I got to her front in no time as she stood transfixed in that same position. 
I bent low a little bit and squinted my eyes to see if I could catch a glimpse of her face. But then it was night and I couldn't see her face properly coupled with the fact that she had a shawl carelessly wrapped around her face

"Mom?"
I called out to her as she doesn't seem to be saying anything

It took her like four seconds before she raised her head up to meet mine

Oh God! I still can't see her face

She stretched out her hands and clasped my palms in them. There was this warm feeling I felt at thi

"You'll have to wait here for me okay? I need to get something down down the road. I'll be back in no time" She said in a very low voice that sounded like a whisper as she squeezed my palms and stroke them with her thumbs

No freaking way

I know what she's about to do. She's going to leave me here and never return

And abandon me

I immediately went on my knees. Maybe this would touch her heart and she wouldn't habour the thought of leaving me ever again

"Mom please. You keep saying this to me each time we meet and you don't come back. You_"

"Just wait for me as I have told you. I'll be back"

With that she disentangled my hands from hers and wandered further into the lonely road. I got in my feet and tried running to catch up with her but my legs got stucked

Like I couldn't move from my position

I watched with teary eyes as my mom walked further away further till I couldn't see her figure any more

"Joshua"

I looked around the deserted road but I couldn't see any one. Does it mean _

"Joshua!"

I woke up to find Giselle sitting at the edge of my bed with concern all over her face

"The usual nightmare?"

I only answered her question with a nod of the head. I didn't want to talk about it

I've been having several nightmares like this since i was seven. Nightmares of me seeing a faceless woman that tells me she's my mom. Only to leave me after giving me excuse as she did in this recent nightmare

In the end, she keeps leaving me behind

Abandoning me

The aged gateman who had told me the story when I was fourteen had said Sandra was the name of the woman who birthed me