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2018
It had been a few weeks since Sakura had came to Korea and she had just left for the survival show. It was a hard goodbye but it had to be done. Nyla was very upset but she knew it was an amazing opportunity for Sakura so she acted like she was okay. She knew if she cried or seemed upset in any way at all the older girl would have dropped all plans of going and stayed with her forever. Nyla had written Sakura notes and hid them in her suitcase for her to find when she unpacked, she wrote things like "I believe in you Kura, I'll be cheering for you until the end!" And "I love you so so so much, you're going to debut I know it"
Things were going well with the members as well. Over the few months they had been a group nyla had formed amazing, close friendships with everyone of them. She was nervous of debut, of course she was, but it didn't seem so scary if she could do it with the boys. Bang chan made her feel safe, Minho made her feel understood, Changbin made her feel carefree, hyunjin made her feel special, Han made her laugh, Felix made her smile and feel brighter, Seungmin made her feel like she wasn't alone and Jeongin made her happy. She needed each of them to keep her going. And she had all of them. But of course that couldn't last. Nothing good happened to her.
"Minho..." JYP started. Nyla felt her heart drop. For some reason JYP had it in his mind that Minho wasn't good enough for the group, something that was far from the truth. The ceo didn't see the nights he stayed awake teaching the others the dance moves, or the way he cared for each and every one of the members . He didn't see how Minho would patiently wait for nyla to open up to him about what she was thinking. How whenever she told him her anxieties and thoughts he would nod and hold her hands, squeezing them reassuringly while thinking of how to make her feel better. Or how every morning he would come into her room with a glass of milk because in his words "you're still growing and you need to be healthy" or how he made her lunch for school because he wanted her to eat well. And how he always bought hoodies an extra size up because he knew nyla loved to steal his oversized ones. He saw none of that. So what did he know about Minho not being good enough? Because in nyla's eyes Minho was more than enough. So as she watched the boys future in the group be ripped away from him in a few words her heart couldn't help but shatter into a million pieces. Her gaze dropped to the floor, she couldn't watch anymore. Nyla stopped listening and closed her eyes, hoping that when she opened them she'd be back in the dorm, waking up from a nightmare. But of course she didn't. Of course she was living the nightmare.
After JYP finished he stood up and left, leaving the members to say good bye to Minho. After everyone he walked in front of the girl. Just looking at her made him cry more. For one of the first times since meeting her she looked like fragile, Broken. Not like the usual nyla he saw. He watched her shake as she blocked her ears and closed her eyes tightly. How her lip quivered like she was cold. How she was trying to hold back her tears "Hye-Ji" he whispered, reaching forward to hold her wrist "Hye-Ji" he repeated as he slowly lowered her arm, forcing her to hear him "Stop" nyla whispered "stop please" the cameras zoomed in on the girl. Chan noticed and moved in a way that blocked the camera from filming her. He didn't want her to be recorded when she was venerable, that would happen too much after debut anyway. Her small voice broke Minho even more. He took a deep breath "Hye-Ji, I have to go" he sniffed, blinking back his tears "Don't go" she whispered, opening her eyes to look at him "please don't leave" she exhaled, looking at him with her teary eyes Her eyes were flooded with tears, that made them shine like diamonds. He looked at her for a second before hugging her tightly Nyla hid her face in Minho's shoulder, hugging him tighter than she ever had before. Scared for the moment she would have to let go "you can't leave me, Minho" she said "you need to debut with us. You have to" Nyla couldn't think of debut without Minho. She couldn't do it.He couldn't say anything but cry more "I'm not going to leave you behind" she whispered, blinking back tears despite how many there were "I won't" Minho breathed in and exhaled shakily "don't put that on yourself" he told her "I'll be happy as long as you debut, okay? Can you debut for me? Please" he said, stepping away and looking at her with tearful eyes. He wanted her to succeed. He knew she would be a star and he would be perfectly happy watching her from afar "I will" she nodded, wiping her eyes "for you" That's where that episode ended, but not for the group. The nine had to watch Minho pack his things and leave the company. They all stayed silent not knowing what to do or what to say. Nyla just sat there, letting the tears fall from her eyes.
That night Nyla went into her room and stared at the ceiling, feeling numb to everything. She thought about how she could no longer talk to him, or that he would no longer bring her milk every morning or make her school lunches. Minho wasn't going to be there anymore. She loved hearing him laugh and how excited he got over cooking and dancing. Without him the group wouldn't be the same. There would always be a hole, only he could fill. She took a deep breath and looked around her room, her eyes landed on her desk. It took her a moment to realise what was on it. Hoodies. Minho's hoodies to be exact.
She sat there for a moment in silence. She stood up and walked over to them, putting the first one on and leaving her room. She quietly went to bang chan's room and knocked on the door "Chan?" She called out Almost immediately Bang chan opened the door "lala" he exhaled "come in" he said, opening the door for her "how are you feeling?" "I'm okay" she told him "he left me hoodies" Bang chan nodded and exhaled softly "he really cares about you, lala. He calls you his little sister" Nyla stayed silent but her eyes gave everything up. She was devastated. It was obvious "come on" he whispered, hugging her before leading him over to his bed. The bed was made which meant her hadn't slept today. That was normal for chan "lay down and try to sleep, I'll be just there" he told her softly, putting the blanket over her. Nyla nodded and smiled slightly "thanks, chan" she whispered "you're a really good leader" she told him. She knew that he would feel like he's failed as a leader. That's just who bang chan is. But as long as she was there she wouldn't let him feel like that "Thank you" he whispered, smiling softly before walking over to his desk to continue with a song. After a few minutes of laying there nyla slowly fell asleep, thinking of how hard she would work to debut for Minho.
