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2018
Since Minho's elimination the others had noticed a change in nyla. She was no longer as happy as she used to be. Before there was still a little bit of childlike innocence to her. The way she would giggle when she found something funny, or the way she would gasp whenever she saw a butterfly. But now there was nothing. She seemed years older. She seemed to have lost all enthusiasm and passion for anything. She tried to seem okay for the members, not wanting to cause them any worry. But it was hard, trying to act okay all the time. However she did it. She acted like she was happy, like she was enjoying life. But none of it was true. She was acting. Just like she'd been for the past 4 years. Just as she would be for the majority of her life. Even though she was struggling she was grateful that she still had the rest of the members. But just like always the universe found more ways to hurt her.
She stood, frozen in place as she listened to Felix being told he couldn't continue with the group. Her already broken heart broke again, creating new cracks along the others. Why did she keep losing people? First Minho and now Felix. The boy had always been there for her. He was her sun. What would she do without him? Without his smile, his freckles, his laugh, how he always checked up on her, how he wrote her notes with compliments and jokes that always made her smile, how once a week they would spend the night on the couch while watching films. How could she do this without Felix. Once again she closed her eyes and blocked her ears, pretending it wasn't happening, but it was. She couldn't avoid it. So what was the point in trying. She unblocked her ears and watched as Felix said goodbye to the others, tears falling from her eyes.
She had tried to avoid crying in front of the camera but the last two eliminations had broken her. After everyone he went over to her, immediately throwing his arms around her. Nyla couldn't hold back her tears as she felt the boy shake "Yongbok" she whispered, sniffing and wiping her wet cheeks "promise me you won't change" she whispered "i don't know what I'd do if one day I find out that you aren't you anymore" she told him, closing her eyes, attempting to stop the flood of tears "I won't" he sobbed, hugging her tightly "I'm going to miss you so much, Hye-Ji" "I'm going to miss you too" she told him, sniffing quietly "I'm going to miss you so so much" She sobbed. She felt as if all the happiness had been sucked out of her body, leaving her an empty shell "What am I going to do without you" he asked. She could hear the desperation in his voice. It broke her into a million pieces "You're not going have to find out" she told him "I'm not leaving you, we can still meet up and message" "Promise?" He questioned, stepping back with eyes red from crying and tears falling down his cheeks "I promise" she whispered, breathing deeply. Felix nodded and hugged her again before walking over to JYP who was still sitting by the table.
She stood there for a few seconds before she realized she couldn't do it. She couldn't watch Felix cry while thanking him for the opportunity and do nothing "why?" She asked, looking JYP in the eye. Everyone turned to her, the ceo looked at her with wide eyes "why have you done this?" She questioned, the sadness being replaced by anger "because they're not good enough? If you think that then you're insane because they are. They're both amazing and they deserve so much more than this. How could you do this to them?" She said firmly, harshness in her voice "you don't care about Felix or Minho, you care about yourself! That's it" JYP stood up "remember who you are, Kim Hye-Ji and then remember who I am" "I know who I am" she responded, fierceness in her eyes "and I know who you are. Don't try to intimidate me because it isn't going to work. You've taken away two people I love, for what? you and I both know this group isn't going to succeed without them, so what's the reason? To get more views?" "I want what's best for this group" he said, bewildered by this young girl "No you don't" she uttered "if you did you would bring Felix and Minho back. If you did you'd know how hard we all work, but you don't and you don't care " JYP exhaled and walked towards her "I understand you're angry but there's no need to yell" Nyla scoffed and rolled her eyes "if I don't yell, no one listens" she said, glaring at him "how could you do this? How could you take away Minho and Felix and not care! Minho is the one of the only people that really understands me, Felix is the probably one of the only people in the world that makes me truly happy. And you've just taken them away! How could you do that?" She said, tears of anger falling down her cheeks and landing on the floor. She stayed silent after that, wiping her tears for a second before walking out of the room. She didn't know where to go but she knew who she wanted to see.
Nyla left the building in tears, walking towards the bus stop. She felt empty. The group wasn't the same without Minho and Felix, so what was the point in staying. She would get to debut but with them. Without Felix. Her light. Without Minho. Her 'brother'. Within thirty minutes she was outside Jungwon's house. She knocked at the door and he answered. Immediately concern flooded his face as he looked at her. She looked tired. Exhausted. Her eyes were pink from the tears, her cheeks were sticky and her nose was red "jungwon" she sobbed, falling into the boys arms. Jungwon knew that when she was like this he just had to listen snd wait for her to talk "come inside" he led her inside and upstairs into his room. She continued sobbing, a sound that broke his heart even more every cry. After a couple minutes Nyla had calmed down "Felix's gone" she told him, looking down at the floor, wiping her eyes "Oh, Hye-Ji" he sighed, hugging her again. He knew how much Felix meant to her. He saw how she would brighten when they were together. It made him so upset he wouldn't see that anymore. Nyla spent the night at Jungwon's, opening up to him about everything since Minho's elimination. Jungwon messaged bang chan, telling him nyla was with him. Bang chan was glad nyla was safe.
After Felix got eliminated there was nothing left to her. After Minho she was broken but there was still something, a little light left to her but that light was immediately blown out as soon as JYP called his name. There was no happiness in Nyla. Even when she spoke to Jungwon and Jun Han. There was nothing. They made her smile and laugh, but it wasn't like she used to. It didn't sound like her. She was like a different person. Over time she became better but she still wasn't the nyla they had first met. She was different and it broke all of them.
