Fear |Gilbert Blythe

✎ chapter five

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Fear

I watch the feather dance through the air above our heads. Every time it starts to float down one of the girls blow it back up where it starts its journey downward again. Anne invited us all over for the afternoon and I was surprised to find Josi Pye not here. I mean I wasn't very surprised since Anne doesn't like her but I did think it was above Anne to just not invite the girl. "Ruby, this is serious. We're supposed to be studying each other's lips," Anne chastises the blond who's blowing the feather up. I shiver runs down my spine at the thought of my kiss with Nate, if you could call it that. It was more of an assault kind the lips that ended in me biting him away.

"I think yours are delicate and inviting," Anne adds before moving on to the next girl. "And Tillies are soft, even to the eye." The redhead then looks to me and I feel my face flush hoping she didn't see the fear on my face from thinking back to that night. "Ivy, your lips are plump and red." I want to thank her but I can't seem to form the words. "Whats wrong?" Diana asks picking up on my feelings. "I lost my first kiss," I whisper out not making eye contact with anyone but the floor.

"Oh Ivy, that doesn't count, your first kiss is supposed to be magical," Anne whispers out reaching forward and squeezing my knee. "It only counts if you wanted it to happen and since you didn't then it wasn't a kiss, just unwanted mouth touching," Tilly adds and I realize I've never heard something so wise come out of her mouth and it makes me smile gently. I lean onto her shoulder thankful before smiling to the other girls. "You're right, my first kiss will be with a tall handsome boy, whom I love," I decide and the girls clap making us all laugh.

"Do you think Prissy and Mr. Philips have kissed?" Ruby asks changing the subject to my great pleasure. I look to Jane who would know. "Not yet," she giggles out, "but soon I would imagine. Prissy's studying for her Queen's Academy entrance exams, and sometime Mr. Philips stops by our house to give her extra help." We all giggle out at what Jane is insinuating about her sister. But I also slightly feel sick thinking about slimy Mr. Philips with an angel like Prissy. "Prissy is only two years older than us," Tillie exhales out like the realization is just now hitting her.

Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I befriended the older girls on my first day here. Would I be helping Prissy plan a wedding, would I be planning my wedding soon. I'm only a year younger than her. "I mean to have an official beau by the time I'm 16," Ruby explains to us like we don't already know. "I hope Gilbert will be back by then." I feel my stomach wrench because he is coming back and I'm keeping it from everyone, including Ruby, the girl who's like a sister to me. And who's desperately in love with the boy

"You think of nothing but beaus, Ruby," Anne giggles out in a teasing manner that has some serious undertones to it. "Well what's wrong with that?" The blonde asks very confused. "Well look at Ivy, she's almost 16 and doesn't have a beau," Diana adds trying to help her bosom friend out. "Well that's not entirely true," Anne corrects and the girls all look to me wearing the same confused expression that I am wearing. "Who?" I ask puzzled. "Oh, maybe a certain farm hand," it takes me a minute to process what Anne is saying but when I do I still act like I'm confused because I feel embarrassed talking about it.

"He's left work a couple times earlier to go and help you and your mom out. And he's mentioned you quite a lot to Matthew I guess," Anne explains to us causing a blush to appear on my face. "It's my mom, she keeps trying to set us up," I say conceding to their curious stares. "He and I are just friends though."

"Okay, whatever you say," Jane piped in bumping my shoulder teasingly. The girls start to focus less on me and go back to talking about kissing and I feel relieved. Jerry is really nice but I don't know if I like him like him. He's cute and sweet and my mom really likes him but I don't know if I do. I've never thought of him like that and it feels weird to suddenly look at him as more than just Jerry, the funny French boy.