The Last Time

Chapter 31

"I know, Bonbon. I miss him, too." I said to my sulking puppy as he lay his head on my thigh, his eyes devoid of the liveliness I usually saw there.

I'd just tried to call Koffi again and had been met with his voicemail. Again.

"This is it." I said. "We're not going to make it, Bonbon. I'll have to put you on a courier flight to LA because keeping you will only remind me of him."

Bonbon whined in my lap and scratched his paw along my thigh the way he did when he wanted to play. I picked him up and kissed his cheek, smiling a bit as he licked mine in return.

"Okay, I take it back." I whispered. "You're my sweet baby dog. I'm not sending you anywhere."

As I lowered Bonbon back down and gave him a chew toy, I heard a gentle knock from the front door, my brow creasing in confusion as I glanced at the time on my phone. It was way too late for anyone to be visiting without communicating with me first, so I assumed it would be a neighbour or one of the security guards patrolling the premises tonight.

I was in no way prepared to open my door and find Koffi's eyes on me. A low gasp escaped my throat as he scooped me up in his arms, his face buried in my neck, arms wrapped securely around my waist.

"Koffi? What are you doing here?" I asked, pulling away from him to look him in the eye. He looked tired, his shoulders stiff as he slid his hands into his pockets.

"I'm back." he said simply.

"I can see that." I said, losing my patience with the little he was saying. "Why?"

He gestured for me to let him in and I belatedly realised we were still standing in my open front door, the cold air giving me goosebumps. We walked in in silence, Koffi checking on Bonbon while I locked up and made my way to the couch.

"What's going on, Koffi?" I asked desperately, my heart rate increasing as he pulled my hand into his and stared deep into my eyes.

"K," he said softly, "do you remember the last time we were at the ice rink together? Remember that conversation we had?"

"I remember," I whispered, internally wondering why he'd bring up such a sad memory.

Koffi nodded and moved to sit closer to me. "Do you remember what you said about me being serious about you?"

I closed my eyes and a tear escaped, my confused mind finding clarity in what he just asked me. "Koffi, you'd better not be here to tell me you've given up your dreams to prove you're serious about me."

The thought was nauseating. I'd spent years hoping one day, Koffi would prioritise me the way he did the other things he loved, but never wished for that at the expense of his basketball career. Guilt was already settling in when he spoke again.

"So what if I did, K?" he asked. "On two separate occasions, I promised I'd prioritise you, make efforts to make us work, and then I became so busy, I couldn't even respond to your messages without sounding like a three year old with limited vocabulary. You didn't say it, but I only have to look into your eyes to know it broke your heart."

"But the NBA..." I strained, my mind finding it hard to believe he'd just given up on so much for me.

Koffi squeezed my hand. "I don't want it if I can't have you. I don't want anything that doesn't have an abundance of you in it."

"This is insane." I said, pulling my hand away and moving away from him. "You worked so hard, you earned the international recognition that opened the doors to your wildest dreams, why would you give that up because of me?"

"Because, K... somewhere between dreaming about this impressive career and taking the steps to turn my dreams into reality, you came into my life and became a part of my dreams. You're a bigger dream come true than some of the things I've already achieved in this life. After everything I did to you, you still ended up choosing me. Still choose me daily. What am I losing if I choose you in this way?"

"Why can't you do both?"

"You saw how that was working for us, K."

"Koffi, we could have—"

"It's too late, K." he interrupted me. "I've already nullified the contract with Jake."

I took a shaky breath and let my face fall into my hands, the guilt I felt escalating. As tears soaked my hands, I found myself regretting ever pointing out that Koffi hadn't prioritised me in the early stages of our relationship. This sacrifice was too big, too irrational. If he woke up one day and regretted letting the NBA opportunity go, he'd resent me. That would be so much worse than him being continents away, living his life and squeezing me in whenever he got the chance.

Koffi's arms were around me now, his voice low as he said, "Hey, don't cry, K. I've thought long and hard about this. I'm confident in my decision and it's not like I'm coming back to start afresh. I've got my spot in the Kitalo Blazers, my businesses and investments to help secure my future."

"I just don't want you to resent me." I said, looking up at him.

"Why would I resent you over a decision I made?"

"Koffi, not everything is as black and white as you're trying to make it seem right now."

"True." he said. "But my love for you is."

I watched as he dug into the pockets of his grey sweats and pulled out a shimmering golden chain. Koffi placed the necklace in my hand, the familiar feeling of the curves and ridges of the centerpiece between my fingers providing some comfort.

"It's still two Ks, chérie. One can't be without the other." Koffi mumbled into my ear. "I don't know about you, but I can't be without you. I don't want to even try. This is how much I love you, K. Let me love you."

The necklace brought up so many memories. In nearly six years, we'd loved, lost, hurt, healed, laughed, cried and grown together. Koffi had become such a big part of my life that I couldn't see myself with anyone else, couldn't really remember what my life was like without him in it. As reckless as it seemed, his decision to come back was proof that he felt the same. I could either keep fighting him about it, or accept it and let him love me like he wanted to.

"I love you, too, K." I said in surrender, breathing deeply and wiping away my tears. "I don't want to be without you, either."

"And you're not mad at me for coming back?"

"I am, but now you'll be here to make up for it."

"Let me start right now." he whispered, holding me close and giving me a sweet kiss that sent butterflies to my stomach and warmth to my chest as we let our tongues communicate how much we missed each other.