Sipho sami

The Miscarriage

Qhawelempi

The doctor tells us i lost my baby and something thunders in my head i can't hear anything else i feel like I'm floating everything is in slow motion as i stand up and walk out of the hospital with everyone calling me in the background of the thunderstorm in my head

I drive till i run out of petrol fill up and just keep driving. I only stop when i get to the Swaziland border , I have been driving for the past 2 days i don't know how my wife and brother are but i know i don't deserve to know.

I produce my documents and they let me through, i go straight to my house, well i had to buy a house here because i was mostly here for business last year.

I take a long shower and think about the events of the night i lost my child and i blame my brother if he hadn't interfered in my marriage but if amanda didn't send those messages i told her not to make contact with on Thursday and if Zipho didn't threaten to live me, i know im short tempered but I've never laid a hand on a women before what's happening to me. I blame everyone but myself but deep down I know the truth. These thoughts run through my head until the water gets cold, i walk to the kitchen grab a whiskey bottle and go to my bedroom.

Ziphozenkosi

Im so tired, my body hurts but i need to wake up opening my eyes everything is too bright i quickly close them then hear a girl calling for help doctor she's up ma..ma call the nurse next thing people are touching me and im wide awake

I look around the room and its Qhawes family but where is he and why is his mother crying?
I know he beat his brother so bad he was taken to hospital and also pushed me but was it so hard that i fell and landed in hospital? My thoughts are interrupted by a teenage girl.

Zano:hi im Zano the last born
Me:hi  Zano im also the last born in my family nice to meet you i say weakly my throat us scratchy so i hold my neck. Zano give her water quickly 1 of the brothers says and she helps me drink through a straw.

The doctor says she needs to talk to me can my family stay or do i want privacy, how ironic they aren't even my family but the concern on their  faces makes me agree to have them here

Doctor: you had  a miscarriage im sorry we did everything we could.
My world stops moving as i look at everyone waiting to see my reaction but I'm far gone because i have already started to cry, I'm sobbing when his mother asks the doctor to give me something to calm down and I don't fight her and soon after i doze off.

Qhawelempi

I wake on Monday with a pounding headache from drinking a whole bottle of whiskey go to the kitchen and make an egg concation for my hangover and drink ice cold water feeling better i grab my phone from the night stand and switch it on over 50 calls and 3 messages.

My heart is heavy and i know why.my mom 23 missed calls, Zano 11, brothers, 17, dad 1 and a few from work 1 message is from mom 'come back home son they are both okay' i love you

The other one is from Nqubeko' they should have given her to me i knew you weren't capable of taking care or protecting her, you are the monster she needs protection from. I laugh and shake my head my brother has grown balls all thanks to my wife.

The last one is from my dad.
I am concealing your contract and getting this girl as far away from you as possible.

Im still fuming when my phone beeps again it's Zano 'buthi come back home they are both okay don't worry nobody blames you we miss you please come back home Zipho was discharged this morning we are all home please come' who the hell told her she is still a baby.

My sweet sister cares so much about me as fucked up as i am..i sigh and throw my head back on the pillow and look at the ceiling thinking about the best way to respond to my father's because I know this is the both of them.

Finally i start typing a message to my dad's
*Are we going back on family codes now.
*So all the contracts we signed can be cancelled one day when you wake up and feel differently about them.
*What about your word i guess that means nothing, you two are Hippocrates with double standards but no worries you can't keep me away from Ziphozenkosi i will always find her shes mine and she belongs with me whether she likes it or not and i don't care about anyone's opinion about this.

As discussed and agreed upon, the lobola negotiation letter should be sent no later than tomorrow for the weekend Ziphozenkosi should be sent home to her parents only on Friday afternoon i don't want her spending any more time with those people and i don't care if shes recovered or not i want things done the right way so she will go and so will the both of you to represent me. However much they want, you give and if any of this is not done i will do things my way but trust me i will marry her.

I switch my phone off and close my eyes.