Sipho sami

the night before

Qhawelempi

My chest is wet from her tears, she's been crying since we got in bed and i can't comfort her, i know I'm not good for her and that she deserves better but i can't let her go im not that kind of person, im a bad guy through and through and bad guy's always win.

I noticed that she wasn't on her periods when she was undressing earlier so i can use the only way i know that numbs pain to help her so i start moving the hand that i had around her to her breasts, her breath quickens as i start massaging her, putting my lips on her neck i kiss and nibble her sensitive skin, im nervous and scared she might reject me because if she does ill have to let her be this is one thing i will never force her to do.

Lowering my hand to her pussy, i start rubbing her clit and she moans i just love how her body is so responsive to my touch like she was mad for me to touch i insert a finger in her warmth and she gasps   i move my finger in and out of her rhythmically until she starts pulling on my shoulder and i know she wants more in a swift move my hands out of her and is replaced by my throbbing dick.

Damn she's so tight If I'm not careful I'll cum before she does and that's not my agenda, i start moving    in and out of her slowly and her moans fill the room, the need to kiss her and swallow her moans is too much that i turn her over so that shes lying on her back and cover her body with mine and Looking down at her to find her staring at me with her big beautiful eyes i lower my lips to kiss her because i can't tell what she's thinking but i know she  has a lot of mixed emotions and for the first time in my life i feel like im making love to a women it's not just sex there's feelings so many feelings pain, love, resentment, hope i look her in the eye's and see a lot of confusion too i thrust into her so hard i cum filling her with the Cebekhulu seed once more and smile when she cums so hard she starts shaking right a behind me.

I take her into my arms and the exhaustion i felt earlier takes over i fall asleep.

Ziphozenkosi

I catch my breath and hear Qhawelempi snore softly, he must have been really tired his never fallen asleep before me. I only get a  chance to see him so peaceful when his asleep and thats only if i wake up really early because of my bladder.

I make a move to get my phone on the night stand and his arm  tightens around me, i slowly lift my phone and take i picture of him and his eyes snap open then seeing its me he closes them again .

Normally id tose and turn all night since my miscarriage because i can't sleep, tonight i can't even turn out of the fear that i might wake Qhawe up and i don't wanna deal with my current situation.

I started thinking about my life before the debt, i was just a free spirited girl studying medicine and now im someone's 20 year old wife and surprising enough everything i have heard about the Cebekhulu family i haven't seen i thought i was gonna be abuse and slaved but it seems like I'm being taken care of and everyone adores me well except for my soon to be husband who treats me like a possession to shove around. The day i listened in on the conversation the father's were having about me and how i don't deserve to be treated like this i honestly thought i was gonna go back to my simple life but all Hope's vanished when i heard them say Qhawe will never let me go and if they push him to hard he'd end up hurting me and the people around me so when he told me he was gonna kill everyone in my family tonight i believed me.

They said he takes after his grandfather but i don't believe that this man need's a phycologist and them just brushing his behaviour of like this worries me .

I don't know if i can go back to being my old self  even if i was given a chance too i feel brain washed like something has shifted in me maybe its how as zulu women we are taught to be obedient to our husbands at an early age.

I honestly don't know how i feel about my miscarriage and the fact that I had a human in my belly it hurts when i think about it  but do I also wanna bring a baby into my world and one that I share with Qhawelempi this was on my mind even in hospital so i ended up asking the doctor to prescribe birth control pills for me because i can't fall pregnant and have something tying me to Qhawe for ever.