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2012
After Kai slammed the door, I was alone in the house. A feeling that should've been accustomed to by now, but it gave me an uncomfortable heaviness in my shoulders.
I walked past the study room, almost ignoring it before going back to open it. Kai wouldn't be here and I wondered what he'd been doing these last few days.
I didn't really know what to expect on the other side of the door but when I opened it, it was an unorganized mess. Papers, books and pencils were scattered everywhere. Kai's scrawled out words were printed onto every page around and I carefully stepped over crunched up balls of paper.
I picked up a random paper and read it. He had been going insane, clearly, over finding a way out. Hundreds of ideas were written out on what could've gone wrong and how to fix each issue.
This is what he'd been doing, finding a way out. His desperation was at an extreme level, understandably, but it seemed to be really eating away at him. Each paper seemed to display different stages of Kai's thoughts, which drastically went down along with his stability.
It took me a minute to piece everything together, but reading his papers it was clear he had planned to leave without me. I wasn't surprised, but I was hurt. Anyone truly would be.
"What are you doing?" his voice sounded from behind me, cold and with a tinge of calmness.
"What is this, Kai?" I held up the piece of paper accusingly and slammed it down onto the desk table. He didn't flinch at my movements, showing he had no fear or care regarding me.
"Well, what did you expect?" he smiled, raising his hands on each side with his palms facing up. "Did you think I'd actually help you?" his taunting voice rung a shiver up my spine, when I realized his words. He wasn't going to leave with me, ever.
My mouth parted slightly, struggling to maintain a confident facade on display. "We had the same plan, Kai: To get out of here, no matter what. You're telling me, this entire time, you had originally planned to use me and then leave me anyway?" I almost cringed at the way the words left my mouth, like I actually cared.
Oh, but I did care, especially about getting out of here.
He walked two steps toward me, but I didn't hesitate to take two steps back. I didn't trust him, at all. Never really did, but this really cemented things into place.
"Yes." He said this with such arrogance and nonchalance that I almost forgot what we were talking about. "You were definitely quite the... appealing distraction in this prison world, but I prefer to be, you know, out."
Without thinking, I flung the nearest object straight into his chest, watching him gasp for air. He had the nerve to smirk weakly, as he fell to the ground. I walked over his body, leaving him behind and not bothering to look back. He was dead to me, and literally for now.
Anger heated me up, while I left the boarding house. I didn't bother to grab anything because I didn't want anything that he had touched or seen or known. I wanted to feel he didn't exist, no matter how lonely that would make me.
This became habitual, where one of us would leave and just forget the other. This time though, I wanted it to be indefinite. During my time here, my frustration towards Damon had somehow shifted to Kai.
He was going to leave me. Images of me weakly lying alone played like a film in my head and I tried to blink it away.
He was born to be hated and to hate.
-
2013
It had been a few months, since me and Kai had our last conversation. So long that I had thankfully forgotten the sound of his voice, the way he stood, and the way he spoke.
I had taken the time to settle into New Orleans and appreciate the beauty of a ghost town. The best part of being completely alone was the opportunity to be yourself and to experience your raw emotions. However, the worst part was the reflection of feelings, yourself and your own identity.
I spent most of my days driving around and sleeping mostly at the tavern that had grown to be my home, where I drunk more than breathed. In fact, I had been about one whole bottle of bourbon deep when I had finally taken a look at the book slipped under the drawer behind the bar.
I had seen it everyday, not giving it much more than a glance. However, I felt suddenly interested in reading something other than the labels on bottles shelved upon the walls.
I opened it and of course, it was grimoire. I should've known the area of New Orleans was bound to have something like this. Unfortunately, it was useless because I wasn't someone who could harness magic anymore.
I took a swig of my drink, as I read each page. Suddenly, a burning sensation erupted into my throat and down to the pit of my stomach. I gagged, throwing the bottle away from me and exasperated for breath.
My chest felt suddenly on fire, as if something was scratching the surface of my skin and I pried my shirt open to reveal a scar forming.
"What the hell?!" I groaned in agony, crippling to the ground and holding my chest. I took one more glance in disbelief, it was the gemini symbol. Fear overtook me, I stumbled to my feet and grabbed car keys I had stolen a few weeks back.
I needed to get out of here.
I needed to talk to Kai.
That was my plan, as I drove hours back to Mystic Falls and hoped with every fiber of my being that he had stayed there. I hoped that he had not moved on so fast to another part of the world, avoiding me and my existence.
The entire ride there, the scar had ached and ached. A grimace was etched into my features, as I drove on past the outskirts of the small town. I hadn't stopped to eat or rest, because my mind was fighting for survival.
This seemed much more powerful than the protection of immortality in the prison world. Whatever the Gemini coven or Kai had done to me knocked me into a flight or fight response.
I barely put the car into park, as I pushed open the door and walked into the boarding house. It was silent, creepily untouched and things left around. I had noticed Kai's shirt on the coffee table, folded and alongside a book.
What unnerved me was that everything else seemed exactly the same since I had left. The fridge, my room, the study room had all been uninhabited.
