You're All I Want [Bang Chan + FemReader]

Part Eleven

"Did you ask him?" I threw the question at Chris as we returned to the car after spending time at the park. I glanced over at him while I fastened my seatbelt, seeing that he was lost in thought and likely had not registered I'd asked him a direct question. There was a dreamy, far off expression in his eyes and it made me pause and watch him for a moment before interrupting his train of thought with a wave of my hand in front of his face. "Earth to Chris. Where did you go?"

He snapped back into the present and blinked a few times before smiling softly and looking me in the eyes. "I was adding some finishing touches to our home in the world we were building back there."

Butterflies multiplied in my stomach as I considered how the majority of the time we walked and talked we were storytelling and building a fantasy world in a parallel universe for the both of us to live in together. By the time we needed to get ready to leave for the rage room, we had a whole life and home and careers and community and future laid out. It was fun to listen to the different ways we approached important things, as well as find out what each of our priorities and opinions were for a good life. It was challenging but beautiful.

"You liked it that much?" I grinned.

He nodded. "I've never taken time to do anything like that, so it was nice to task myself creatively in a different way. Don't freak out if some of our ideas make it into lyrics."

"Hey!" I laughed. "I better get my share of royalties then!"

"Oh sure, sure." Chris scoffed then looked at his phone when it vibrated.

"What did he say? Gonna join us?" I assumed it was his guard answering the invitation I wanted to extend for him to come to the rage room with us.

Chris read the brief message and pressed his lips together in his tight smile, those gorgeous dimples around his mouth exposing themselves. "He said he understood what this time means to me, doesn't want to be the third wheel, and knows I'm okay since I checked in. He'll see us when he picks me up later."

"You have got to give that man a raise immediately, Chris. In fact, leave him here with me. I'll take good care of him." I started the car but was caught off guard by Chris unbuckling his seatbelt and leaning over to pull my chin toward him and capture my mouth with his, kissing me firmly and possessively. When he pulled away, I found myself panting in surprise.

"You're mine. No one else's." He grinned then licked his lips. "Mine."

I took a deep breath to calm my heating core. "Well, when you say it like that..." My words faded as I looked from his lips to his eyes, resolute.

He fully sat back in his seat. He leaned his head back against the headrest and turned his face in my direction once more. His hand reached over and rested warmly against my covered thigh. He squeezed a ticklish spot, causing me to squeal, then batted my hand away when I responded with trying to smack him on the chest. Still looking at me, hand back where it'd been before, he whispered again, "Mine."

I knew he felt me squeeze my thighs together as his tone resonated between them. I swallowed hard and could see his eyes mischievously half-lidded and dark, and a smirk lilted off his lips.

"Say that one more time, and we're going home right now," I said.

His throaty chuckle filled the suddenly quiet space and his full smile broke free. "I wouldn't complain, but I also really want to see what this rage room thing is."

"Well then. To the rage room we go!" I started the car.

"Your safety goggles and your sledgehammer." I placed one in each of Chris' open hands. He buzzed energetically next to me with anticipation, and I laughed lightly at him. "I really hope you like it as much as I think you will."

"I trust you." He grinned then slid the large and clear protective eyewear onto his face.

"Follow me," I said after slipping my own goggles on and grabbing my preference of mallet. "He said we're in room 8 toward the back. It's the bigger one which makes me very excited."

"So, what all is supposed to be in there?" Chris fell in step beside me, something I had noticed he started doing last night when we were at the park the first time. There was something about the action, whether it was conscious or not, that made me feel even closer to him.

"You'll see!" I grinned from ear to ear and bumped his arm with mine, needing to touch him.

We passed all the numbered doors 1-7, a cacophony of music and destructive sounds coming from behind several of them, and soon after reached number 8. Before opening the door, I flipped the slide on the wall next to the door from VACANT to OCCUPIED. When I swung the door open and stepped inside with Chris, I watched his jaw go agape and his eyes widen behind the plastic shield. I gave him a second to survey the room while I turned immediately to the right to the music interface mounted on the wall. It didn't take me long to find some perfectly angsty mood music and it quickly filled the room from the speakers mounted in the corners.

I walked over to Chris in the middle of the room. "So... what are you thinking?"

His mouth snapped closed, and he looked me directly in the eyes, full of wonder and eagerness. "I love you for this." He took my free hand and kissed the back of my knuckles. "What now? How do we start?"

"Start small. There is a stack of plates and some glass cups and coffee mugs over there." I pointed with my mallet over his shoulder. "Then we work our way up to the larger objects." I pointed toward the large picture frames, mirrors, and vases, then on to the old desktop computer towers, sitting chairs, and then to the sofa, several big screen and projector televisions, and a makeshift, standalone, framed sheetrock "wall" that wasn't much wider than the span of Chris' open arms or taller than either of us.

"Show me the way, Master." Chris' grin was full of bridled fire. "I'll follow your lead."

"First, we need to get in the right headspace. This place isn't meant for the same emotions of an arcade or club. This is for the shit that you've suppressed, that you haven't been able to channel properly, and that you can't put into words." I walked over by that first section I had pointed out to him while tapping the mallet head in my palm. Chris nodded as I explained. "The first few hits won't mean much or feel like much. There are the little jolts of a rush with the impact and the initial cracks, breaks, and shatters. You might even feel a little disappointed at first, but don't stop. As you pull more strength and force from inside you, it should also start bringing those harder emotions to the surface. That's where you'll feel the shift and start to pour that into the hits and throws. It'll feel so good once you're there." I looked over to see him staring at me with such an intense adoration. "What?"

"Watching and listening to you talk about catharsis... You're so beautiful in so many ways."

A blush crept across my face and I lowered my eyes to the stack of mismatched plates nearest me. I smiled and picked one up, knowing the way the ceramic would sound smashing against the concrete floor. Without hesitating, I threw it down with force. The way it shattered echoed through the room. I took a deep breath, enjoying the jolt of adrenaline it created, and caught Chris' widened and excited eyes. His fingers were twitching around the handle of the sledgehammer, itching to be doing something.

"Your turn." I laughed.