You're All I Want [Bang Chan + FemReader]

Part Twelve

"What do you suggest I pick first?"

I grabbed a clear drinking glass and handed it to him. "Okay," I pointed to one of the several bullseyes painting on the walls, "see that target? Hum it at that."

He took the glass from me with a nod. After taking a second to breathe and focus, Chris reared his arm back and let the glass fly with dizzying speed at the far wall where I'd specified. I watched him closely as it made impact with the wall with a high-pitched ring then splintered. The shards of glass glittered in a cascade across the surface of the wall and down to the floor. He turned to face me again with a renewed light in his eyes and desire to keep going written all over his face.

"Okay, that was strange but nice." He laughed. "Your turn?"

I shook my head happily. "No, sir. This is for you. Keep going. I'm mainly here for support."

A small "oh" graced his lips before they stretched into another smile. "So, I have free reign?"

"This is your kingdom for the next 30 minutes." I smirked, remembering our earlier conversation when he called me his queen.

"Then, I can do this if I want?" He picked up the ceramic plate that had been under mine and flung it like a frisbee toward the bullseye nearby the one he had hit with the glass. It crashed against the cinder block wall with a satisfying explosion of pieces.

I laughed to myself, watching him enjoying himself. I had grabbed one of the coffee mugs and threw it at the wall too, taking in the way he tensed and then his whole body relaxed after the piece was destroyed. That was what I wanted to see, the progression of unsureity to confidence to full release. Knowing him the way I did, he wouldn't need much help as far as motivation, but he would let me guide him in the direction to go.

"Okay, so with the next few items, I want you to think of the grievances, complaints, frustrations, even arguments that didn't get resolved from the last few weeks. Picture the items as those issues and then deal with them physically."

There was a flash of hesitancy in the micro-twitch at the corner of his lips. I caught it and knew that he just needed a second to breathe and process what I was suggesting. I could see the wheels turning in his mind just from the way he disassociated while he sifted through his memories mentally. Patiently, I waited for him to move at his own pace.

Then, the song playing in the room ended and a new one began. The chug chug of the heavily distorted guitar and the half-time of the drums charged the atmosphere. It had set the tone for this new set of tasks for Chris, and the way that his eyes locked on mine and his entire demeanor shifted into determined action I knew this was going to both be ridiculously good for him and breathtakingly hot for me.

"Okay... Okay..." He rested the sledgehammer against his leg so he could shake the nervous energy out of his arms. He craned his head side to side to stretch his neck.

"I'm just gonna..." I walked toward him and when I was right in front of him, I reached up and cupped the back of his neck, pulling him down so I could kiss him. When I let go, I turned around, walked back by the door, and leaned against the wall, leaving him with a wink and a nod for him to go ahead.

He cleared his throat and, with renewed confidence, picked up the sledgehammer and eyeballed the remaining stack of plates and glasses on the table he had picked from. He looked back over to me with a smirk before sending a sweeping swing at all the items on the table at once. The explosion of sound echoed through the room, causing me to gasp in a rush of surprise. Chris took a deep breath and located another stack of plates. From overheard, he swung down onto the tower. The burst of glass shards that flew out from the epicenter of the hit was messy and beautiful at the same time. He set the tool down to lean against the table and began picking up the randomized drinking glasses and mugs, pitching them without trying and landing within the targets with each throw.

"So amazing," My words of awe were lost in the music and the sounds of destruction. "I hope this brings some healing for you, Chris."

I watched him continue to work his way through the smaller items, his muscles tensing and flexing visibly. The music fueled his momentum, and soon he was tearing into the picture frames and mirrors with the hammer. The larger items were requiring more exertion of force, so with that brought appropriate grunts and low growls of spent energy.

What was not appropriate was how my body was responding to those sounds. I could see lines of sweat beginning to trickle down his brow and temple from his hairline, and my heart danced at the sight. I watched as he stopped in front of another tall mirror and stared at himself for a moment, and suddenly my gut clenched when I saw the expression in his eyes darken to disappointment and anger. When he growled louder and hit his reflection with the sledgehammer harder than any other item up to that point, heat pooled between my thighs.

"That's it." I crossed my arms and whispered to myself. "Handle it."

He continued to let out whatever silenced emotions he had suppressed on the objects as they grew larger and larger in size. Time stood still when he stood in front of the televisions, his shoulders and chest rising and falling with heavy breaths. What I did not expect was for him to lift his leg, place his foot on the television, and violently kick it over with a shout.

"You lied!" He yelled at it before kicking it again. "You made me believe if I worked myself to the brink of death, sacrificed myself over and over, that I could do anything I wanted... Could be anything I wanted. You lied!" Tears began to stream down his cheeks as he hit the television blow after blow until it was demolished, then he moved on to the next one, shouting, "You made me believe I'm not enough," followed by impacts and crashes, then, "Not talented enough, not strong enough, not smart enough, not attractive enough, not young enough, not old enough, not experienced enough, not qualified enough..." When he stood still, heaving over the rubble that was the televisions, desktop computers, and large framed abstract art pieces, a sob racked his body.

My instinct was to go to him, but something told me to just wait a moment, give him the dignity of space that he likely doesn't get often. I chewed on my bottom lip, speaking encouragement to him in my mind. Before I knew it, he was fast moving toward the couch in the far corner, arms already poised for the first blow to the cloth-covered wooden frame.

"And then..." The initial hit found its mark. "... I actually find someone..." The second blow landed at the same time my chest tightened in recognition. "... And she's everything I've ever wanted..." Another strike, and I could feel hot tears welling in my eyes. "... Then her contract ends and she moves away..."

"Oh, Chris," My heart wrenched aloud, tears now streaming down my face.

He took a deep inhale. "Why does everything have to be so hard for me?" Then, he unleashed his frustrations out on the remainder of the couch, anger and pain and disappointment and overwhelming memories channeling out of him through his every move.

I could tangibly feel the emotions he was releasing into the room. I watched as every ounce of what he was experiencing all over again poured out of him into the inanimate object. With each strike against the couch that dismantled it more and more, there was a lightness returning to Chris. His movements slowed as he neared the final intact portion. He raised the sledgehammer above his head with both arms and brought the head down onto that last section with finality.

He stood up straight and dropped the sledgehammer to the ground before turning on his heel and finding my eyes. Breathing heavily, he brought his hand up to slide off the safety goggles, which encouraged me to do the same thing. He wiped the sweat off his face with his shirt, exposing his midriff to my suddenly hungry eyes. When he looked at me again, he moved with purpose in my direction. Once he reached me, I was taken by surprise when he gripped my waist, lifted me up, and held me against the wall firmly with his own body. My legs wrapped around his waist and my arms around his shoulders as he kissed me, long and hard. He took ownership of my mouth, not even flinching as the salt of our tears mingled with our tongues. His hips pushed against mine, ratcheting my heart rate up with every intentional grind against where our straining bodies met. The heat radiating off his skin set me on fire and I clung to him fiercely as the chill of the cinder block wall against my back cooled me at the same time.

Chris drew back to catch his panting breath. I did the same, savoring the taste of him on my tender lips, and I took the opportunity to whisper in his ear, "Let's go home."