𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈 𝒾 𝓌𝒾𝓈𝒽 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓈𝒶𝒾𝒹 - coriolanus snow

accept it.

Two weeks. Two weeks since they last talked and Elsie was suffering, she couldn't get over him. Every time her mind landed on the thought of him she tried to block it out. She tried to think about other boys. Past boys and future boys. Anything or anyone but him. But her eyes were plastered onto the inside of her own and every time she closed her eyes she could see them. The beauty of them, the softness when he look at her. She felt him always, surrounding her body and her breathing. She could feel herself stop breathing when she saw him from afar, his hands wrapped around her, he loved Lucy. Not her. 

She had accepted it far before he told her, she knew what he was going to choose yet it still stung. It still stung. She pictured his smile in her mind, how it curved up at the ends of his mouth and how is eyes slightly squinted when he did it. There was an underlying tone of something there and she couldn't put her finger on it. She thought about the kiss they shared and her stomach would fill with guilt and butterflies, it was a bittersweet thought and she couldn't bare to not have it. 

She heard the branches crunch under her shoes, crushing leaves as her legs moved quickly turning corners suddenly and fast. The sound of her shoes pattering against the earth echoed throughout the field of trees. Branches had fallen in front of her and she made little jumps over them. Her breathing was heavy as she ran through the forest, she knew it like the back of her hand. She had done it so many times before. When she didn't want to think she ran, she ran fast. She could only focus on not falling and nothing else.

But her mind wandered. It had never happened. She looked up and the sky reminded her of him. She looked back down as she continued running, her dress was flowing behind her as she ran. The bottom of her white linen dress was dirtied, mud and small leaves glued to it. She would wash it when she got home or ask Lucy Gray to wash it. 

Lucy Gray. Her only lasting childhood friend who she was starting to resent because she has the boy that Elsie can only dream about. Lucy Gray has the boy that she can't even touch or look at because the fire inside her would burn. Love made her do crazy things before but she had never felt this level of feeling before. She was able to get other boys of her mind just not this one. He would constatly seep through the cracks of the concrete walls she build in her mind. His eyes would peer at her in her own dreams and his smile would haunt her at ungodly hours of the day. She had never wanted anything as bad as she wanted him. And if she had him she could give up everything. She could run away with him, she wouldn't tell anybody. She would keep his secrets and him her sins. Elsie could only think about the things she wished he would say to her. His low and quiet voice whispering to her as he told her what he would do to her or what his plans for their future was.

She was jealous and the jealously burned deep inside of her. It was a constant burn, never stopped and she didn't think it ever would. She would learn to live with it, she would learn to be okay with it. Elsie would need to learn to unlove. She had gotten so good at loving without consequences and this love had consequences. Consequences that would bite back and rip into her skin. It would sink into her skin and rip until it tore her flesh apart til it reached her heart. Then they would squeeze until her soul burst. She would be left to bleed, he would leave her to bleed. 

Accept it Elsie. Accept that you can't have him. 

She had stopped running, sitting down on the Earths floor, branches digging into her shins and thighs. Her dress was moderately drapped across her legs that she had brought up to her chest. She heaved as a slow and thick tear ran down her face. She couldn't have him and she could feel the hole in her mind. She could feel that it had been branded premaritally into her mind, he would never leave no matter how much she tried to forget him, he was unforgettable. 

"Elsie?" A voice spoke from behind her and a cold wave rushed through her veins. Her mouth felt dry as the low voice spoke. Not now. 

Authors note: 

Sorry for the short chapter! I'm trying to make up for the day that I missed while I was at the Gracie Abrams concert. Whoops. 

Anyways, love ya!