A shy reference librarian, and a college student who was disowned when she refused to submit to conversion therapy, meet in a bookstore. He's been waiting his whole life for her. Meanwhile, she's starting her whole life over. What ensues between the...
I became part of my small church's choir after I was confirmed. The choir consisted of one bass, two tenors, one alto, and three sopranos. I was the designated alto. Technically, I was also a soprano, but I had a wide vocal range, and the choir needed altos, so an alto I was.
That September it was as hot as July. Our church hadn't yet bought its two central air units for the sanctuary and parish hall (the units were eventually nicknamed Paul and Silas because they were nested in a protective barred metal cage that looked vaguely like a jail) so the only relief from the heat came from open windows, and from several electric floor fans that did little real cooling. I was roasting in my vestments. More than anything, I wanted to sit down in the pew to rest, but that was out of the question because the choir stalls were up front near the altar, and on display to the rest of the congregation.
Noblesse oblige.
It was some time shortly after the consecration of the Host that I succumbed to the heat and, I think, the incense and the candle smoke, and lost consciousness.
When I came to, I was lying on the cool, tiled floor of the refectory, with wet cloths on my forehead and wrists. Church was still going on, so the only people there were my mother and father. I had no idea who carried me downstairs to the parish hall, or how. It couldn't have been my mother. She wasn't strong enough.
"I should have been allowed to sit down," I grumbled.
To which my father said, "Can the priest, who is wearing even hotter clothing than you are, and far more of it, sit down? He has an obligation to celebrate the Mass, no matter what. And you, as long as you are in the choir, seen by all members of the congregation, have an obligation to behave as a chorister. That means showing up for rehearsals, even when you have more interesting things to do, such as reading that new science fiction book you just bought; it also means kneeling or standing to sing when you would rather be sitting down comfortably, and remaining in your place even when you want to be elsewhere, such as a cool, air-conditioned room, because you are setting an example for all who behold you. You are in a leadership position, whether you are aware of it or not, and a leader must follow stricter rules than everybody else, to earn the respect of those who follow. Nobility imposes obligation."
In other words, it was my fault that I fainted.
He did try to live by his creed of leading by example. He tried to give back to the community what he might take from it as a member of the taking class, albeit in what I would consider very minor ways - giving food and other charitable gifts to the impoverished, volunteering in a soup kitchen on Thanksgiving morning and afternoon, taking part in community litter clean-up and tree plantings and Neighborhood Watch patrols. And of course, he tried to lead by example in the way he felt was the most important of all, namely, doing his best to live in an upright and moral way, at least as he saw it. He put more energy into doing that than he did into any kind of community service.
We have since had our differences, which I will go into, and there were many, but I would be lying to myself if I did not admit that of all the teachers who were my friends and role models when I was a child, he was my favorite, and I probably do take after him in many ways.
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