A shy reference librarian, and a college student who was disowned when she refused to submit to conversion therapy, meet in a bookstore. He's been waiting his whole life for her. Meanwhile, she's starting her whole life over. What ensues between the...
We've passed through the suburbs of our own city and through a no man's land of industrial parks and towns that might count as suburbs. Now we're reaching the outskirts of the city where I'll be attending college. The music on the radio has mostly become static. I don't know when this happened. I haven't been paying attention.
He notices the poor reception and turns the radio off. Static hurts his ears.
Neither of us felt like listening to music anyway.
I glance out the window again, seeing the peculiarly golden glow of summer on the verge of turning into autumn. It's too sunny and beautiful. The only appropriate weather for today would be dismal, rainy, and cold.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
"We need to talk."
I look up from the Gene Wolfe book I've been devouring. Gene Wolfe has been my latest obsession; he tells deceptively simple stories that you only realize near the end you didn't understand at all, so you need to read them a second time, and then a third, and maybe on the fourth or fifth reading you'll have an idea of what he was trying to imply between the lines.
"Yes, Erastes?"
"We will be parted from each other after you move into your dorm room."
"That does seem likely since I can't bilocate."
"No. You misunderstand me." He takes a deep breath. "We've talked about this before; I can't be everything you need. That will never change. I couldn't help but notice, when we watched Sirens last night, how you looked at Giddy throughout the video, especially when the other women teased her or put her in distress; nor could I ignore your tears after the end of the movie, despite your efforts to hide them. You don't need to hide things from me, by the way. You never did. That you still try to keep some deeply held feelings to yourself is a bad sign. That was ultimately what made me do some hard thinking. But quite aside from the trust issue, there are still things you need that I can never provide for you. I can never be a woman, for one thing; I can submit to you, but I can't enjoy the pain you need to inflict; I can't give you the variety you need, because I can't share you..."
"How do you know that if you haven't even tried?"
"Spoken by someone who has told me she has never once felt jealousy, so monogamy never seemed worth her trouble. This is a rift between us that I don't think can be bridged. Please believe me when I say jealousy is excruciatingly painful. It makes me afraid to lose you when I get jealous. What if you meet a woman who meets your needs better than I do? What if something I say as a result of my jealousy angers you, or pushes you away? You're only twenty-five. You have your entire life ahead of you still. By settling down with me, you give up your chances to live life on your own terms."
