Cyso's thoughts (Vent Book)

Theater (pt. 1)

I've been doing theater for 7 years. I started at one place which had horrible mental health and so when I reached highschool I stopped performing there and swapped to a school program.

The school has two directors, in the fall one director who is an alumni and spring the director who's been there for years.

I take voice lessons with the spring director. I brought in a song I wanted to practice a few weeks ago. When we where done with it I asked for help to find a audition song and sence I didn't know any 70s music (we're doing Mama Mia) she said the song i brought in was good enough.

I practiced it a lot.
Dance auditions happened and I did good, not many people knew how to dance but I did.
Singing auditions and scenes were a few days ago. I think I did good with my song and group harmonies.
Then when it came to the scenes I was only called up for one. It sucked, but I just thought "oh maybe she already has an idea for casting," or "oh I might be called up again." Nope.

Cast list came out and I got "chorus," (it's supposed to be called ensemble), and my name was spelt wrong.
People who couldn't act or are unreliable got rolls, character was left single casted (there was 13 characters, double casting, and 30 people in the cast, they shouldn't have left one single casted even if they only saw one person as that roll, it took away chances from others), and EVERYONE ELSE from my year got something and I was left behind, I was forgotten.

I sucks. I'm hurt. My mom is hurt (she helps with everything; costumes, finding sponsors, making the brochures, setting up practice audiences with the middle schools, and my dad helps with the set).

A couple people already dropped, some with actual characters but I know they're not going to move anyone to those rolls because that's what she does.

Im probably going to stay in, but I'm not sure. I might not continue voice lessons because it really hurt.

Tomorrow's the cold read and imma just see what happens.

My mom wants me to meet with the director this weekend and say how I feel, and I think I will. I wrote down how I feel in the notes app and will show it to her because when I'm emotional I have a hard time talking.
I'll see how that goes, but she's probably gonna just do the whole "oh every part is important including the ensemble" thing that everyone does.

I love theater, I don't want to stop, but I'm not sure what to do. I can't go back to my old place because it wreaked my mental health, the other places in town are either bad in quality, bias, and or rushed, but over all I don't want to start all over again.

I'll definitely continue to do the shows with the Fall director (he's really nice, actually casts me as something in his shows, and after the cast list was released he messaged my mom saying he can't wait to do another show with us), but if the trend of me getting ensemble in the shows with the spring director continues I don't think I'll do the spring shows.

I'll probably post another vent about this depending on how things go.