Draconia Offline vol. 2

91.2. Decision - Part 2

They are staring at me for a very long moment, unable to speak. Erik collects himself first.

"Then I absolutely won't approve," he clicks his tongue, his eyebrows forming a huge frown. "You want to leave us behind? For real? Do you seriously consider us your weakness?"

"W-what? I don't mean it like that," I shake my head violently.

"Yes, you do," Gotrid supports Erik. "Lately, you don't fear anything. Not anymore. Your only fear is that somebody would try to hurt us."

Now it's me who is taken aback. I don't fear anything anymore? Surely, that's not true! I've always had so many fears, I'm a naturally anxious type. I'd always feared that people would find out about my telepathy, I'd feared being judged because of my androgynous appearance, I'd feared that I was too weird to find true love, I'd feared...

I try to recollect that feeling of dread that's been with me my entire life, but I get nothing. It all seems like a distant memory. I accepted my telepathy and embraced it. I have two amazing husbands. I even came to terms with my looks because Erik and Gotrid love it. I don't fear politicians anymore and Draconians are growing stronger with each passing day.

Yet, when I look at my partners, I feel uneasy. My strongest fear now is losing them. I can't bear to see them hurt because of me. They are in danger simply because they married the Celestial Emperor. If anyone wanted to attack me indirectly, they would go after them.

"Ryuuto," Erik uses my human name on purpose, "let's make two things clear once and for all. Firstly, both me and Gotrid knew well what we were getting ourselves into by becoming the Celestial Emperor's Consorts. Secondly, we're your partners, not your subjects. You have no right to command us."

"Oh... I...," I'm taken aback again.

I shiver when the revelation finally gets under my feathers. Of course, I have never considered Erik and Gotrid to be my subjects, but I guess that I tend to decide things for them when I worry about their safety. And I worry about their safety a lot.

"Sorry," I lower my head in an apology. "Would you please think about it at least? You would be safe here and you could rule in my stead."

"We're not your weakness, Aefener," Gotrid berates me harshly which is the first. "Honestly, it offends us that you think of us that way. You're upset with your subjects when they are trying to protect you too anxiously, but you're doing exactly the same thing to us, don't you understand?"

I stare at him with my mouth open wide. How come I have never noticed that my partners are gradually growing frustrated with me? Is my love towards them turning obsessive?

"Stop overthinking it," Erik rolls his eyes and pulls a few of my feathers which makes me flinch. "Yes, we are frustrated, but there's no need for any catastrophic scenarios that are going through your head right now. You lost most of your fears, but you're still an overthinker."

"It's true that we have to make lots of compromises daily," Gotrid admits. "We have to respect that you don't belong only to us which is the hardest part. We have almost no privacy or free time. We chose that, though. We don't regret anything in that regard. Still, do you know what bothers us the most?"

I shake my head. I might be the most clueless telepath ever.

"That you wouldn't hesitate to wage war for us," Erik explains, pursing his lips. "Yes, I fainted and that ideally shouldn't have happened, but Gotrid told me that you lost it. You were in full panic mode and your mana was leaking dangerously."

"W-what? It didn't!" I oppose feebly. "Nobody said anything and..."

"Only because my fainting episode shocked everyone and you got it under control quickly when Noage assured you that I'm going to be okay," Erik sighs.