Chapter 7💋

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𝐓𝐖: 𝐀 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍𝐘 𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐘 𝐁𝐈𝐓 𝐒𝐌𝐔𝐓, 𝐒𝐔𝐈𝐂𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐌𝐏𝐓, 𝐑@𝐏𝟑 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐒𝐇😱

Me and Johnnie continued kissing for like 2 minutes, turning into a make-out, omg omg holy shit, this is so crazy, i gently grabbed his hand and placed it on my boob, he pulled away from the kiss and moved his hand, "idk if we should do this now y/n" shit shit why tf did i do that, he hates me now omg wtf is wrong with me why did i do that shit. "oh- i'm sorry, shit johnnie i'm really sorry" i sighed shit why the hell did i do that?! "no it's fine, it's just a little soon yk?" he thinks i'm gross doesn't he "it's fine i understand" i smiled, literally dying in the inside holding back tears. We kinda just sat there in an awkward silence on our phones, it was the best and worse day of my life, i didn't know what to do, i needed to cut so bad but johnnie was at my house, fuck it    " um im gonna go use the bathroom" johnnie nodded and i walked to the bathroom. I got in there and locked the door, i got a blade from a drawer and sat on the floor, I cut deeper than usual into my thigh, i carved a J into my other thigh, blood wouldn't stop coming out, i put a lot of toilet paper and waited for it to stop, i found bandages in one of my drawers and wrapped it in my thighs. I got up and pulled my pants back up, flushed the toilet and walked back out and layed down.

I eventually fell asleep, and i had a nightmare about my past.
I was walking home from school and saw a man walking behind me, i could tell something was wrong, he started walking faster and grabbed my wrist, i looked back at him and he pulled me away, i tried running away but he was strong so i gave up, "just listen to me and stop trying to leave" he said with a deep ass voice, he looked and sounded really scary and intimidating. He brought me to a house and threw me onto a bed and started undressing me, i tried kicking him but he held my legs and said "stop resisting, and don't tell anyone about this i'll actually genuinely kill you" i nodded my head as tears fell out of my eyes. After he did everything he made me put my clothes back on literally RIGHT AFTER and he pushed me out of his house, i fell to the ground and started balling my eyes out, i ran trying to find my house but i had no idea where i was, it took me 2 hours to finally find my house. Once i got home i went to my bedroom and grabbed a blade, i cut my self the deepest i ever had. I grabbed some of my pills i take when sick and took all of them, i passed out on my floor and woke up in a hospital bed, after being in the hospital for about 2 weeks i found out i had to go to a mental hospital.

I woke up and started breathing heavy, i guess i woke up johnnie and he tried to comfort me "hey hey it's okay y/n" he hugged me "what happened?" i sighed "i had a nightmare abt something that happened to me" johnnie looked at me "do you wanna talk about it?" he asked me, "idk if right now would be a good time after what happened earlier" i didn't realize what i said until i said it, johnnie looked at me and he seemed sad and like he felt guilty, "omg i'm so sorry i didn't mean for it to come out like that, actually i'll just tell you what happened" i sighed and told him the whole story, he looked in shock and i could tell he felt bad for me, my eyes started watering telling him the story. "i'm so sorry y/n i'll never ever let that happen to you again, come here" he pulled me into a tight hug, one arm around my waist and his hand on my head. I felt safe around Johnnie, i felt as if he could protect me, i guess that's why he's trying to take things slow, wait oh shit tara told me to take things slow, i completely forgot about that shit. "johnnie i'm really really sorry about earlier, i should've respected you" he pulled away from the hug and put his hands on my shoulders and looked into my eyes "it's not your fault y/n, you didn't know" he smiled at me and he pulled me back into a hug, i smiled and started rubbing his back. We both pulled away from the hug and layed down, he put his arm around my waist and we both had fell asleep.

𝐈 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐎 𝐆𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐘/𝐍 𝐀 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘, 𝐈 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐇𝐎𝐏𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐆𝐔𝐘𝐒 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄𝐃 𝐈𝐓 𝐁𝐄𝐂𝐀𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐈𝐓 𝐓𝐎𝐎𝐊 𝐌𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐑𝐑

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