𝘈𝘓𝘞𝘈𝘠𝘚, 𝘍𝘖𝘙𝘌𝘝𝘌𝘙 - 𝗝𝗢𝗛𝗡𝗡𝗜𝗘 𝗚𝗨𝗜𝗟𝗕𝗘𝗥𝗧

∙ 𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗘 ∙

Johnnie and I have been spending so much time together it's crazy. We've been attached at the hip, and I'm not complaining.

Not too long ago I've realized I may or may not have a crush on Johnnie. I told Tara and she was super excited...

"Tar?" I say to Tara. She looks over at me, "What's up?" "I think I like Johnnie." I say as quick as possible.

Tara's mouth drops open in shock. "WHAT?!" She yells, a huge smile taking over her face.

I blush hard as I hide my face in my hands. "There's no way he doesn't like you back. Have you seen the way he looks at you?" She says, sitting next to me.

"I'm scared." I say. She frowns, "Why?" "I know he's in no way, shape, or form Alex, but I just can't help but be scared of this relationship. I mean, the last time I was in a relationship I was abused and beaten and degraded everyday. It was so tiring. And I'm scared to mess up everything me and Johnnie could have." I explain to her.

"Babe, listen. Johnnie 100% likes you too. And if you're scared going into a relationship again then take things slow. Don't rush anything and let your feelings settle before you let anything happen. Plus, Johnnie also has relationship issues after his ex. Sort things out, talk, communicate." She says.

I smile at her and hug her tight. We both burst into a fit of giggles. "I love you." I tell her.

I smile, thinking about the memory and what Tara said.

If I took things too slow I could lose him, but if we move too quick it also wouldn't work.

I'm scared of relationships and Johnnie's scared of commitment.

We both have past relationship trauma.

We're practically meant to be!

But thinking about even risking myself in another relationship terrifies me. I'm so scared to put my love and trust in someone and get hurt like I did when I was with Alex.

I knew Johnnie would never ever in any way hurt me in the ways Alex did, but I was scared he would leave me.

Why did I have to fall in love with my best friend?

Tara was the only one who knew so far. But I couldn't help but be scared of my own feelings.

The thoughts of my last relationship overwhelmed me and I couldn't see or think straight. Though I knew Johnnie would never do anything like that, I once thought the same thing of Alex.

And now he's in a cell rotting while I'm here struggling to come to terms with my feelings that I know I've been hiding.

"Hey Johnnie?" I ask Johnnie, he was in the kitchen grabbing some of the gummies we had here.

"What's up, Li?" He asked, coming back with multiple bags of various gummy candies.

"Do you think I'll ever be able to overcome my relationship fears?" I ask him, taking the first step into communicating relationships with him.

He smiled sadly at me. "Of course. One day you'll find someone who loves you with their whole heart. They'll worship the ground you walk on, they'll buy you flowers and your favorite Trolli gummies. They'll give you everything you want and need. Then, you'll have a beautiful diamond ring on your hand." He explained.

I felt my heart tighten when he didn't mention that the person would be him. I wanted tvaf person to be him. And no one else.

"I'm scared. I know not everyone is like him but I thought he wasn't like that until he was. It's hard to become "normal" again after experiencing that." I explained.

Johnnie grabbed my hand with two of his own. "If anyone else ever even thinks to do something like that to you I'll kill them myself. I don't care if I'm a scrawny emo, I will fucking do it."

I smiled and giggled lightly. "I love you Johnnie." I mumbled into his shoulder after embracing him.

"I love you too Liana."

—

sorry this chapter took so long to get out...
I've been struggling so that's why it's so short lmfakaoao
I'm having immense writers block with this story so can y'all comment/message some ideas?!
make sure u eat and drink water!!
I love u allllllll