The Archers Heart

8 - By Valar...

Reaching Legolas, I sat down on the stone steps that extended up the small hill besides the training's fields. I groaned sitting down, holding my stomach with one hand. Legolas immediately, reached out to help me, but I shook my head: "Its alright. I am just sore. That's all. The wound has healed very well."

"So, there are no further problems arising?" He asked, still watching me with worry in his eyes.

"Not from the physical wound itself, no." I answered indirectly, not looking him into the eyes, but I could feel his gaze being trained on the side of my head, so I gave in to his staring. "It left me infertile. But that's all. No physical restraints."

He gasped, quickly shutting down his surprised expression. "I am so sorry, Leia. Do you want to talk about it? Is there anything I can do?" Shaking my head, I gave him a sad smile. "Its alright, Legolas. There is nothing for you to do, besides Lord Elrond already talked to me. I just... Having the choice to decide, whether I want a family or not, and now that being taken away... It is something I need to get over with and that will take its while."

"You seem to not mind too much." He stated, turning to look at the training soldiers as well. I just shrugged. "I never saw myself as a mother anyway. My way of life not being fit for a child, me not really being a social person. I never minded to not have them; you know? But now with the decision not being mine anymore, I cant help but think about the what ifs. Don't get me wrong, it is not bothering me. At least not as you might think it is. I will get over it, its just... I don't know. Its weird to think about it. There is this undeniable pain that comes with it, but on the other hand I am relieved to never have to think about it. Like I will never have to worry if I am with child or not, if I will be a fit mother or not. It takes away so much responsibility while also giving another load to worry about. What if that's what will inevitably keep me from finding a mate? What if I one day decide I want to have children but then cant?"

"You will find someone; I am sure about that. And the other things can all be figured out with time." Legolas simply stated, nudging me softly. I leaned onto his shoulder, relishing in the soft emotional warmth that enveloped me being this close to him. "Thank you." I whispered, earning a quiet scoff. "Not for that, gwathel." Wrapping an arm around me, we silently watched the training to proceed in front of our eyes. 

And immediately my mind was taken off of the painful topic, brought to a much happier place. Letting my eyes unabashedly wander over Haldir, I watched as his back muscles moved beneath the skin, tensing under the strain to draw his bow. "Why the fuck does he need to be so perfect..." I mumbled under my breath, still fixated on the blonde elf in front of me. I nearly missed Legolas laughing at my words, just the slight shaking of his shoulder snitching on him. "What? Just look at him drawing that bow. He does it with such calm perfection. I am jealous."

"Mhm... That for sure is the only thing you are focused on." He laughed, shaking his head.

"It is!" I held my ground, praying that my cheeks didn't heat up as red as I it felt like. Legolas turned with a raised brow, the look in his eyes clearly not believing one word I said. "Is that so? Then why are you blushing in the deepest red, I have ever seen on any elf? Is the sun perhaps too hot for you to handle? Maybe its reflecting to bright on his white hair?"

I tried to hit him, but he just caught my hand with his, holding it in place, still making fun of me: "Gosh, look at you. You are behaving like a teenage human girl."

"I am not!" I whisper yelled, the blush slowly fading, but I knew that my cover had been blown. Legolas knew me far to well to not see the reality of my staring. Just looking at me with a raised brow and his head tilted to mock me, he waited for my confession. Sighing deeply, I shook of his hand. "Fine. Maybe I am. But don't you dare tell anyone, or you are a dead man!"