The Archers Heart

10 - Talk to me

"There is nothing to talk about. How do you even know I am here?" I asked, ripping my arm out of his grasp. I kept on walking into the house, not really wanting to have the conversation in the middle of the road. Haldir followed me, bowing slightly towards Martha and the children before he walked up the stairs behind me. "Lord Elrond had sent me. He mumbled something about his visions and you being here in Dale."

"That snitch..." I growled. Walking into my room in the attic. It wasn't very high, so Haldir stood there tilting his head, to not bump into the wooden beams. Sighing, I waved towards the bed. "Sit down."

He eyed me and then the bed, not really looking like he felt comfortable to sit on my bed. I just scoffed. "Well, if you hit your head, that's on you." Turning my back to him, I walked towards the small window, closing it and starting to check my laundry. It had dried over the course of the day, so I picked it from the line, starting to fold it.

Behind me, I could hear Haldir sigh, before the bed creaked, indicating he had indeed sat down. "So, why are you here?" I repeated my question, not daring to look at him. I heard him take a deep breath, obviously uncomfortable by the whole situation. "I came to speak to you." He simply stated. I didn't answer, waiting for him to continue his explanation.

"Look, Leia. I know that what I did, or better did not, hurt your feelings. And I am sorry about that. I truly am. It wasn't my intention to hurt you like that, but hearing you indicate you see more than just a friend in me... It caught me by surprise." He mumbled and even my elven hearing had trouble to understand him perfectly.

"You could have said something." I reprimanded him, orderly packing my clothes back into my bag.

"It wasn't like you have given me enough time to react and think about an answer." He retorted and I could hear the faint smile that formed on his lips. Gritting my teeth, I knew deep down that he was right, but my pride didn't let me acknowledge that. "Still, you could have come after me."

"I did."

"A day later."

"Better than not doing it at all." He got up from his seat, stopping besides me and gripping my hands. "Look at me, Leia, please." I did as he asked me to, letting my hands rest on his chest, covered with his bigger ones. 

"I am not good at doing these things." He started again, letting his eyes wander through the room. "After my parents died, I had to raise my brothers. Orophin and Rumil. You have to meet them one day. I think you would like them. They are quite the trouble makers. I took on a parental role until they were old enough, I still do occasionally. Having to be responsible all the time, made me very strict and stoic. I had to be there for them whenever something happened. There was no time and place to think about my needs. And over the years, I slowly accepted, that maybe that's all life had for me. My job as Commander of the marchwarden and my brothers. But then Legolas suddenly invites me to Arwen's birthday. He knows how much I hate to be at such festivities, but he wouldn't let go of it. And then you crash into my life. Insulting me the first time you see me, putting a dagger to my throat over a slight quarrel. Something I wouldn't let anyone do to me. And yet I couldn't bring myself to stop you. Quite the opposite. I wanted you to do it." He stopped, looking down at me with one of his soft smiles.

I just looked at him dumbfounded, unable to say anything or do anything else than stare at him. Which he didn't seem to mind at all, carrying on with his speech: "I think Lord Elrond had a vision about us. Maybe its because he considers you to be a daughter to him, maybe its just something that came to him, who knows. But I am sure he made Legolas bring me to Rivendell to bring us together. And I am very thankful for it. Because meeting you turned my world upside down. You treat me like I am just an ordinary man, not a Commander. You don't care that I am not the most social or fun person to be around. You give me a hard time, when you don't agree with something and on the other hand you are always there for me, have an open ear, if I need to vent over something. With you, I feel like I finally found the one missing piece. I didn't realize what had happened to me, until you were shot by that morgul arrow. Seeing your life wither away from you, seeing you lose your spirit. It made me feel things I never imagined to feel so deeply. I was a mess during the time you were unconscious, not knowing whether you will make it or not. That's when I realized, I wanted you. Needed you."