Different similarities

Chapter 12

Thursday. The dinner. Jean. The math test. Headache. Dehydration. Mom.

The mirror in front of me looks foggy today, not in a literal sense, today I can't seem to see myself as I am. I have those days when my skin doesn't feel right when my head hurts, when I wake up sweaty with dark circles under my eyes, when the world feels darker than it usually is, when one small thing can make me want to fall down a cliff. Today is the day.

For days like these I have one routine I do to feel better, even just a bit.

I take cold showers, to wake myself up, because doctors say that a sudden rush of noradrenaline would help. (It doesn't always help)

Then I drink tons of water since dehydration isn't fun at all. (It only helps after a long time period)

Lastly, vitamins. B, C, and D are my favourite ones. Even though I feel like vitamins are a complete scam, days like these help me believe in them and be delusional to feel better. (Works on a scale of your delusions, placebo effect)

The routine was of great service today, although the cold chilly weather outside was what highered my esteem. When I was in front of the school, I didn't feel as irritated as before and my headache was gone. What wasn't gone was dehydration, which annoyed me the most. I hated the way my lips felt, my skin and my eyes... Today even the school hallways looked bigger and I felt smaller constantly wishing to disappear into thin air. But now now, what fun would it be? - It'd be fun for now.

When I entered the classroom it was bright with sunlight and full of people chattering. I noticed a chestnut hair sleeping on the desk with his arms crossed. The sunlight lit Jean up, his skin soft, lips slightly open, and eyebrows furrowed by the bright sunlight. I caught myself moving my fingers to block the sunlight and when I did, his brown eyes opened instantly looking at mine. I smiled and greeted him. Jean did the same yawning.

"Your eyes look like a forest in the summertime" Well that came from nowhere....

Jean sat down next to me. He got 10 minutes before the bell rings to chatter morning nonsense like he always does.

"What?" I looked at him.

"What?" Jean was supporting his head with one hand, looking at me with his cocky smile. I raised my eyebrow at him squinting my eyes.

"Can't I flirt with you a little?" Jean's smile turned into a smirk.

I rolled my eyes turning away to hide my red face. "Not in the morning,"

"Your face is red," He stated the obvious.

"No," I said still not looking at him. "I got a sunburnt" That's a lie—a bad one.

"Mhm, okay," Jean brushed the subject off. "So, about today's dinner..." He started with what made my head turn. "Should I bring something?" Jean's poster remained the same, the hand was still supporting his head, there were no signs of his nervousness. Good.

"Uhm. No?" I shrugged leaning on the back of my chair.

"I think I will, " Jean pondered. "I think that's appropriate" He looked at me again for reassurance.

"If you only want to," I smiled. Then the school bell rang and he left.

The seat next to me remained empty, Mia wasn't in the class that day. I enjoyed the silence in my head, although I had to pay attention to the class. The teacher always picked on me if she caught me staring at the big tree outside.

"I'm changing seats next year," I thought to myself. Somewhere in the back would be nice and I wouldn't need to sit next to Mia anymore too.

"Perfect" I whispered to myself. I remembered the tree outside not long after. Its beautiful vibrant colours and all of it was what kept me there the whole time. This seat and the window next to it were perfect already.