Different similarities

Chapter 16

July 6th.

Kaya's Pov:

The sun shining through my window woke me up quickly. I liked to lie in bed for some time before moving on with my day, but today was different. I woke up and showered with cold water that really moved me to do things. I cleaned the whole house. My dad taught me to start by cleaning the dust first, then moving to the floor and then just individual rooms. I left mom's and dad's bedroom untouched. It was long since I went into that one. I hated the memory it brought me back of mom and I. Kai's room was rather clean since the last time he came back with Beth. It wasn't long ago.

When the evening came I was reading a book, trying to shake off this feeling of having to wait for something exciting and stressful at the same time. Only a few weeks went by since the last time I saw his eyes or saw him smile. The last time we saw each other... The kitchen floor and the drunk sloppy kisses. If I were drunk right now I would say my lips missed his. The truth was that I didn't know how or what I felt. The thing I knew was that I liked being by his side. Jean made me happy. I kept repeating this all the time. I don't know what I feel.

I still watched sunrises and sunsets alone when summer reached its middle. July, what a month... For those working in resorts, it meant catastrophe, more work, more pills to swallow, more drug snorting to make it easier. For those having holidays there, it meant seeing the sea every day, going to restaurants, eating all the time, being rude to waiters or being just a normal human being. I liked those who treated everyone as equals, as humans, not machines.

We met in front of my house like we always did. Jean looked pale, his cheekbones were more visible and his eyes were almost lifeless. At first, I thought he didn't feel good, but Jean assured me he was fine. The evening was ordinary and peaceful. It wasn't as hot as in the morning or the noon. The sun was starting to set and a gentle wind blew.

"Summer suits you," He remarked.

I wore a small shirt and shorts with a pair of sneakers, nothing special.

"You're funny," I rolled my eyes, "What's up, why are you back so soon?" I started the conversation with easy questions.

They weren't answered until we got to our spot, one of many. We sat in an abandoned museum, the sunset reflecting on its windows.

"Beautiful colours," I thought.

This place brought back memories. I remembered all kinds of conversations we had there. About whether we'd be the moon or the sun... He chose to be the sun since it brings people happiness. I was the moon.

"I was hospitalized so now my stomach is weak and my grandparents wanted me back," He answered in one simple sentence, not looking at me. Jean was rolling himself a cigarette.

Jean didn't sound excited to be here with me or he didn't seem to enjoy anything besides rolling that thing. To his surprise, I also took out one, from the pack I had in my back pocket.

"What are you doing?" Jean's face finally flashed with an emotion. He smiled as I lit up the cigarette.

I struggled to light it because certain someone couldn't keep his eyes off of me. Jean took my broken lighter and lit my cigarette with his big hands. Jean was smiling, chuckling but holding it perfectly still. I don't smoke often, I like to do it while watching a sunset or being in a beautiful place. Now being with someone, to remember this. I always imagine that this way I'm making the memory stay alive within me. With the help of cigarettes... How silly.

"When did you start?" Jean asked already blowing the smoke upwards, with his head against the wall. Despite looking sick, he looked... hot?

"When you left, " I slowly exhaled, "I don't do it often though." To forget the taste of wine on my tongue.