Well...Not Anymore.

Well...Not Anymore: Prologue

**Hey peoples, this is my first story on here and this is just the prologue. If I get some nice comments then I'll keep posting so please let me know if you like :)**

Lucas Hamilton.  He’s tall, he’s lean, he’s blonde, and he’s got the bluest eyes I’ve ever seen in my life.  He’s smart, he’s outspoken, he’s sweet, and he’s fiercely loyal.  Well, he used to be anyways.  But anyways, because of these things, Lucas Hamilton is the Brad Pitt of my high school.  It sounds so cliché that it’s kind of sickening, I know, but it’s the honest-to-God truth. 

Girls love him because not only is he physically gorgeous, he’s also got one of the sweetest hearts at the high school.  Or so they claim.  Guys love him because he’s one of the best football players in the state.  Back to cliché?  You bet.  But even though this sounds like the beginning to any teen drama movie, it’s not.  This is my life at Brookston High.

It sounds like Lucas’ life, though, doesn’t it?  It’s not.  This is my life.  Why am I making such a big deal about Lucas Hamilton?  Why does he have anything to do with my friendless, social lifeless existence?  Well that’s easy.  He’s pretty much the cause of it.

But he’s the golden child, right?  He’s the good guy at the school, the savior.  The principal and all of his teachers love him, even some of the janitors.  He’s got girls lined up behind him and guys would kill to be him.  So how in the world did he manage to make my life suck?  How is he solely responsible for my having no friends?

Simply put, he was my only and best friend just two short years ago.  We were inseparable, the kind of friends that could spend weeks together and never tire of each other’s company.  We finished each others’ sentences; his family treated me like their daughter.  We cuddled when one of us was upset and he would hold me when I was scared.  We were closer than best friends—way closer.  People wouldn’t expect to see us in the hallways without the other.  If he got invited to something, it was common knowledge that I’d be his plus one.

No one else really tried to be my friend because they knew that Lucas, well, kind of owned me.  I know it sounds awful and completely weird, but it’s the truth.  Girls wouldn’t want to be my friend because they knew that I wouldn’t spend my weekends with them.  My weekends were dedicated to going over to Lucas’ house to escape my own. 

The crazy thing was, though, that people would still be his friend.  He still had his guys on the team, guys he would call up when he was dealing with some boy stuff the he didn’t want to bother me with.  He talked to other people in his classes while I would sit there by myself, immersed in some book and waiting until he would include me in a conversation.

I was totally reliant on him.  He was my everything.  As pathetic as it sounds, he was my home. 

So it was only customary for me to fall in love with the kid, right? 

He was gorgeous even back then, even when he didn’t have the muscles or the height or the pleasantly deep voice.  He still had his soft, almost girlish like blonde hair and his ocean blue eyes.  And he treated me like I mattered to him.  He treated me like any person on the world would want to be treated.  He was the best friend in the whole wide world—or so I thought.  

And well, when I started getting to the age where I actually cared about boys, I started looking at Lucas much differently.  His lips suddenly looked like they tasted good; his hands strangely looked warm and rough, as if they’d feel good on my skin.  I started getting butterflies in my stomach when he talked to me.  I started wishing for things or thinking about things that I’d never thought about before.

So what did I do?

I told him.  I told him that I was falling for him, that I was seeing him in a different way.  I put myself completely out there.  I trusted him with my heart; I didn’t think that anything bad would happen.  Naively I thought that telling him wouldn’t change our friendship at all.  I thought that we were strong enough to get through it if he didn’t love me back.

I was young and I was stupid. 

The moment that I had told him that I not only loved him but was in love with him, he got this panicked look on his face and then he told me.  He told me that he already had a girlfriend that he was in love with.  He was with Destiny Cleveland, this girl with perfect blonde ringlets on her head and mile-long eyelashes.  I remember thinking about how she seemed to sparkle when she walked down the hallway.  She was completely perfect.

She was perfect for my best friend—the best friend that I was in love with.

After my little confession, the two of us rarely ever talked.  If I ever tried to call him or go to his house, he or his mom would tell me that he was hanging out with Destiny.  He started avoiding me in the hallways, in the classes that the two of us shared.  He erased me out of his life.  I was the past and he wanted to fast forward.  We were through.

That had been my sophomore year, the absolute worst year of my life.

We were seniors this year and as I walked throughout the hallways, seeing Lucas hold hands with his perfect little girlfriend, I knew that nothing had changed.