Cheat
Cheating is disgusting in all forms. How could you cheat to someone you love? You say you love them but then you disrespect them only to look your partner's shortcomings in others.
"Sigurado ka bang siya 'yan?"
Pinandilatan ako ni Ailyn dahil sa tanong ko.
Hindi ko kayang panoorin ulit 'yon. But the video and pictures kept on replaying on my mind. I never knew this side of her. I wanted to deny and assume that this wasn't her to avoid hurting myself. For 3 years, I thought I've known her. For that too long, I thought there were no secrets. But it was so clear that she betrayed me, cheated, and lied to me.
I've always believed that love conquers all, that fairy tales aren't just stories, but a glimpse into the kind of happiness that's possible. And for a while, I thought I had it. I thought I found my happily ever after in her arms. Every smile, every touch, every whispered "I love you" felt like magic, like nothing could ever tear us apart.
"Hindi siya 'yan." bulong ko.
Maybe it's denial, maybe it's desperation, but I cling to the belief that this can't be real. That somehow, someway, there must be an explanation, a justification for her actions. Maybe she was confused, maybe she was lonely, maybe she was just scared. Whatever the reason, I convince myself that it doesn't change how she feels about me. That deep down, she still loves me as much as I love her.
This is torture.
"What the hell, Izzy? Siya 'to! May litraro at video na nga ide-deny mo parin?"
My heart throb in pain. "Ayokong mawala siya."
She looked at me annoyingly.
"But she's cheating on you! Ano? Ayos lang sa'yo 'to?"
Para akong nabingi sa sinabi niya. Para ayoko nalang marinig lahat ng sinasabi niya.
"Kausapin natin aba! Ano? Takot kang makipag-usap at baka makipaghiwalay sa'yo?"
"Ayoko, Ailyn...hayaan nalang natin. Kalimutan nalang-"
She cut me off. "But she cheated. She. Kissed. A. Guy. Niloko ka niya! Come on, huwag ka naman maging tanga, Izzy. Naiintindihan ko kung mahal mo siya pero kailangan mo siyang komprontahin para-"
"Okay lang."
Her brows furrowed in anger.
Nagtiim bagang siya. "Anong okay lang? So okay lang na may kahalikan siyang iba?"
"Hindi ko na alam, Ailyn. Hindi ko alam. Ano ba dapat? Ang gusto ko lang naman makalimutan 'to. Ayoko siyang mawala. Ayokong makipaghiwalay."
I'm scared. Yung ang totoo. Takot lang ako na komprontahin si Solene. Natatakot ako na kapag tinanong ko siya tungkol dito ay baka makipaghiwalay siya sa akin. Ayoko ng ganoon kasi mahal ko siya. Kaya ayos lang...na may kahalikan siyang iba. Basta sa akin parin siya uuwi.
She scoffed in disbelief. She might think that I'm stupid.
"Ayos lang kahit na hindi ka na niya mahal." nakangiwing sabi niya.
"Mahal niya ako."
"Pero naghanap siya ng iba."
Nag-iwas ako ng tingin.
"Look, sa dami ng tao sa mundo imposible ngang hindi siya makahanap ng iba. But you shouldn't prison your self just because she found someone else."
"Naghanap siya ng iba dahil hindi ko mabigay ang gusto niya, Ailyn. She's just after physical things pero ako pa rin ang mahal niya."
