•home for the troubled boys•poly bl•

Mommy issues.

Averys P.O.V.

I again consider turning back around before turning the door knob and opening the door,To late now.Xavier is sat in his chair,His hair is messy and slightly in his face.He is wearing a grey t shirt an red and black checkered pajama pants.He looks up from his computer,He was clearly not expecting me because shock is placed on his face."Avery?" The shocked expression has now faded from his face."Xavier." I grumble out.

He looks at me clearly confused."Is something wrong?" He asks clearly picking up on my distaste of being here."The other day you said you wanted to talk to me, well you've said it more times than just the other day but you get the point." I sigh."Im willing to talk now." I have to force myself to say."Right now?" he says glaring at the clock which read 10:03 its past bed time or whatever.

"If I don't do it now I won't do it at all." I groan.A warm smile creeps its way on Xaviers lips "alright then, are you going to come in?" he raises a brow at me as I am still standing in the door way.I grumble again while closing the door "I guess I have to don't I.".I flop into one of the seats in front of his desk like I have done all the pervious times I have been in his office.

"Is there anything on your mind that you want to talk about?" he asks closing his laptop and pushing it to the side placing his full attention on me."I don't want to talk about any of it." I say exaggerating the word want."It?' he asks. "You know the stuff that got me sent to this place." I say like its self explanatory.

"Mhm I see, its whatever you are willing to talk about no pressure at all." He hums giving me a smile which can only be described as comforting.Mom or dad?Starting the conversation with one of the two will make it a whole bunch easier because most if not all the 'issues' I have stem from one of them some from the both of them.

"I guess we can start with my mother." I say taking a deep breath in trying to help myself  prepare for this conversation."Okay then, you have the floor." he says lightheartedly.

"Well for starters she's a heroin addict." I decided to make that known first because thats the main reason she is the way she is.There were very few times in my life when my mother was sober for over a week,But the few times she was she did a half decent job at being a mother.

He just looks at me and nods without having a big huge reaction to it like people always do which I was extremely grateful for. "In every situation she would choose the drug over her children any day,She didn't care a bit for anyone but herself." I say my voice cold with years of resentment when talking about her."Children,You have siblings?"

"Just one a younger brother,Miles he's fifteen now." I say answering his question."Honestly there might be others out there,My parents are Whores." I say with a grin on my face.He lets out a small laugh while slowly shaking his head back and forth.

"anyways."I groan before continuing on about my mom. "The first time mom my majorly screwed us over is when I was six and Miles was 2." I explain "For about three months straight she had spent all the grocery money on heroin leaving us to fend for our selves for three months, we nearly starved to death,And that was just the first time she had done that and it definitely wasn't then last." I say looking at him for any sort of reaction but all I get is kind eyes.

"One of her favorite things to do was to steal money from my father and blame it on me,That always resulted in blood Shed." I say thinking about one specific time when she had pulled that and my father got really angry,During that beating my life flashed before my eyes a countless number of times."Blood shed?" he asks clearly concerned eyes open slightly larger than normal.

"What you didn't think my father was the angle of the bunch did you?" I joke letting a small laugh leave my lips."this conversation isn't about him." I say.The true reason though is because I really don't want to get into my father today.

I continue talking about for a a while before Xavier stops me."Do you mind if I ask you a few questions about your mom?" he asks "sure I could care less." I say slouching back into the chair after shrugging my shoulders.

"is there anything about her addiction that you thought about a lot?" he asks.Of course I did but one thing came to mind."It always confused my how much of a different person she was when she was 'sober',Even though it wasn't very often I cherished those moments when I was younger." I answer his question.

He had asked a few questions,Your pretty standard how did that make you feel type bull shit.But this question made me think of this time my mom was sober for a month while doing a bet and we had four horror movie marathons.That just proved to me that she could get sober just not for me.

He looked at me with kind eyes as if he could hear my thoughts.Im done talking.I don't want to talk about her anymore because all it dose is piss me off knowing what I could have had for a mother if only she wasn't an addict.

He glances over at the clock which read 12:06 am."How about we hit pause on this conversation for now, its getting late and you seem tired." He says making me an escape from the trap I had gotten myself in.I nod my head and hop off o the plush chair.He stands with me and leads the the way out of his office and to the stairs.

When we make it up the stairs and to my room Xavier stops in front of the door."Im very proud of you for coming and talking to me by yourself Avery, I know that must have been very challenging for you to talk about." he says before placing a hand on my head and ruffling my hair."good night Avery." he smiles before making his way towards his door.

I walk into my room and place my hand on my head finding myself missing the feeling of his hand there.What the hell am a saying I'm supposed to hate the guy not miss his touch?What the hell is he doing to me?

This was literally such a quick chapter because I didn't really want to make him over share to much sense he is is just now getting used to it.And I think we all know why you miss the feeling Avery but your dumb soooo.Eli<3

word count:1148