Rimuru Tempest and the World of Morons with Magic Sticks

Arc 2: Chapter 3

Rimuru's POV

I was sneakin' around. I could see perfectly fine in the dark, so I didn't need to bring a light or anything. Right now I was next to the Hufflepuff dorms, trying to figure out how to get down to the kitchen. This place really was built like a maze, but my limited magic sense did help me some in dealing with that.

I finally managed to find the entrance, or at least I thought it was. It was pretty obvious the room had a spell cast on it that would open a passageway.

I could just undo that, but I wasn't certain that was the best idea. The painting in front of me would likely be killed if I did dispel the door's hidden nature so instead I'd just need to figure this one out. Especially since intimidating more doors into opening seemed like a bad idea.

I could tell that something was going on with the painting, specifically the pear on it. So, I walked up to the painting, and reached out to touch it. But, before I could do anything, the pear on it screamed... Then turned into a door handle?

This school is weird.

I carefully and quietly used the handle to open the door and took a look around inside. I was quickly confronted with the smell of boiling water, and it seemed like even at this time of night, stuff was being prepared for the next day's breakfast.

It wasn't any of the house elves though, instead it appeared to be animated pots and pans, and stoves. Preparing things all on their own while their owners slept.

As for the house elves, the creatures I was confronted with weren't elves at all.

Short, scraggly, scrawny little things with large ears and eyes, wearing nothing but rags. They were more like goblins than any elf I'd ever seen.

I ignored it for now, and approached one that seemed to have noticed me. Ciel, can you open a portal to imaginary space? I think I'll just need to talk to them. I wasn't sure if they had actually noticed me, but I couldn't have them telling the teachers I was here.

[[For this situation, I'll do it.]]

Before the house elf fully woke up, I quickly trodded over, and picked them up under the arms. Then I dropped them into the portal right as it appeared. Then I jumped in myself. We were left floating in a space with an earth-like atmosphere.

The house elf took a few moments, but the falling sensation definitely woke them up. They screamed as they did, staring at me. "W-where is we?! Where is Cringee?!"

"Uh... you're dreaming. You're having a very weird dream, yeah."

The name was a bit... weird. Even a little funny, considering what the word meant to most English-speaking people online. I knew it meant something else before though, so I just had to guess they were a scaredy-cat.

"Cringee is... dreaming? This does not feel like a dream to Cringee."

"Trust me, you're asleep. I mean, how else would you explain this?" I kept rolling with the idea, hoping the house elf would buy it.

I thought it best to make some sort of foothold below us and we both landed gently onto one as soon as I manifested the thought.

"Cringee is unsure... They have never seen students in dreams before." They stepped back from me slowly.

"Don't worry about it. I just have some questions for you." I put on my best smile.

"What kind of questions could the student have for Cringee? And why would they ask in a dream... Is the student real?"

"Who knows?"

The house elf just stared at me for a long second before shaking his head.

"Cringee supposes some questions can be answered."