Our Winter

what to do?

February 8th

It was my birthday today and I'm so glad I finally turned sixteen. I can read my mums letter now but I don't want to, I'm not sure why. Either way, I'm really grateful for my found family: my aunt and uncle, my friends and minghao. My friends threw me a surprise party, so I guess they're not mean after all, they ditched me for a good cause.

But today, something straight from a drama happened to me. Minghao told me about the girl he likes. She was smart and pretty, and she loved matcha and cats and tea and reading. Jia told me he was crushing on me way before so I knew he was talking about me, but I'm not sure about the pretty part...

Since he confessed, I confessed back. I KISSED HIM. on the cheek but still... I can't get over it, even though it's been hours.

Minghao's such a gentleman, he always puts others before himself and he cares for everyone so much. He's so sweet. And he always goes the extra mile for everyone he cares about.

I just realised, do I have a boyfriend now? Is minghao my boyfriend? Ahhh just thinking about it gives me butterflies. Being in love is amazing. If he is my boyfriend then I think I can say I found the perfect guy for me. It's crazy how much everything can change in one night. I'm so glad I decided to walk home instead of calling a cab.

As I write this, I'm feeling something crazy. I love it, and it feels beautiful. But at the same time I feel nervous. I feel like hugging myself but also like I want to pull out my hair. I guess that's love — it's beautiful and ugly. Though minghao isn't. He's just plain beautiful; there's no ugly on him. I don't really know why he liked me, but all I can say is I'm very grateful. Sometimes, I feel like I don't deserve such amazing people in my life but I'm glad I have them.

***

Mei woke up with a smile on her face. She looked out the window; the sun was just starting to rise. Mei checked her phone, the time was 7 o'clock. Okay, she had plenty of time to do things today. Mei looked at her night stand and saw a book on it, it had "Mei Mei's Diary" in tiny letters. She remembered her entry from last night, and giggled without realising it. She instantly clasped her hands over her mouth but let go with a smile. Mei didn't record every day, just those that were important or she wanted to remember. She shoved her diary into its hiding spot — under her mattress. She got ready, and headed down for breakfast. Her aunt had got breadsticks, soy milk and dumplings, her all time favourite. Mei began eating, smiling every now and then without realising. She saw her aunt sit across from her, and heard her gasp.
"Mei, are you wearing makeup?"
"Yeah. I felt like it" she said in between bites of her dumpling.
"Well, you look great. Got any plans for today?" Her aunt asked, pouring herself some milk.
"Mhm. I'm gonna go to the library and study. I'm not sure what I wanna do for lunch, so I'll call you later and tell you." She said, finishing the last of her breadstick. Her aunt nodded, as Mei got up to pack her things. With a skip in her step, Mei made her way to the library.

Picking a comfortable seat near the windows, Mei put on her headphones and dove right into her work. She didn't have a problem with any of her chemistry or physics homework, but the second she opened her Chinese book, Mei knew she wasn't going to make it that long. She took a deep breath and tried to keep an open mind, but gave up after five minutes. "I need help." Mei said aloud. "And I know just who to ask." She smiled.

Mei dialled for the third time, her bottom lip almost completely chewed up. To her immense relief, she head a "hello", though it sounded very strained.

"Hao Hao? Are you okay? Are you sick?"
"A bit, don't worry. What happened?"
"Uh, it's just..." Mei glanced at her work. She couldn't possibly ask him for help when he was sick. "It's just that I missed you. Your parents aren't home right? I'll be there to take care of you. Okay?"
"You don't have to, I'm really okay!" He tried, though it wasn't a great attempt since he violently coughed right after.
"I'm coming okay? Stay there." She said, hanging up. Mei packed her things and left immediately. Finding a cab, she arrived at Minghao's house, and rang the doorbell.