chapter 8 - waves of anger

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I take in his silence and looks. He is really good-looking, but after what happened yesterday, I think of him as one of these good-looking assholes. His hair is still a bit messy, considering he just woke up, and he doesn't seem to recognize me very fast. I just stand there. I begin to shiver at his presence but try to not let it show.

I can see how hyunjin is now beginning to fully wake up. He's still not paying much attention to me. Instead, he's trying to wake himself up with a cup of cold water now and he's still looking down at the ground.

I try to comprehend what's happening. I try to calm down and take a step, but instead, my plate slips out of my hand and falls onto the kitchen floor. After the fight with Hyunjin yesterday, his presence immediately makes  me uncomfortable.

As soon as my plate hits the ground, Hyunjin quickly gets startled and immediately looks up at me. His eyes widen in surprise as soon as he realizes where the noise came from. He sees that the plate has fallen onto the ground now and he quickly looks back down at his own feet and takes a step or two away from it. "Are you alright? did the plate just slip out of your hands?" He says it with a petty tone. Cocky bastard.

My shock is washed away by the wave of anger from last night resurfacing. His question makes me scoff immediately. I stare at him coldly.

"Since when do YOU care about my well-being?"

As I talk to him with this cold and dismissive tone of mine, I can see how hyunjin immediately seems to become quite offended by the way I'm talking to him. He immediately tenses up and this also slightly deepens the blush he was already having from just having woken up.

"Excuse me?! Since when did you get to talk to me like i'm your enemy?!"

"Since you said worse things to me yesterday." My body tenses, and my anger builds up even more at the sight of all the broken shards of the plate scattered across the kitchen. All because of him. It kind of resembles how he shattered my hope in him into tiny pieces and then stomped on them.

Hyunjin's eyes narrow even further. I'm able to see how this situation is slowly escalating even though it may not appear that way yet on the outside. "I said what i needed to say yesterday to you and whatever i said to you, it was because you made me mad. it's not my problem that you cant handle me being straightforward."

I try to calm myself, but as he speaks again, my brows furrow as well. I cramp my fists. I feel deeply offended by Hyunjins salty reply. It makes me mad. I still act collected but cold. I speak with a sharp voice. I glare at him.

"If that's all you had to say to me, Hyunjin, you are the greatest disappointment in this group." 

His already annoyed expression immediately starts to become even more offended and he cant help but glare angrily at me now.

"I'm the disappointment? You're the one who's always being too sensitive! if anyone's the disappointment in this group, it's YOU!"

My fear in me rises, but I overcome it with my anger.  His words offend me, especially now that I've gotten closer to some of the members. I hear the door creak and someone enters, probably because of the loud noises we made. Neither of us look at the person who entered. We're too busy arguing.

"Hyunjin, you shouldn't call ME the disappointment after what happened yesterday! I didn't even do anything wrong. You were just fucking patronising me!"

"I was just trying to tell you what you needed to fix about yourself but if you can't handle me being straightforward and want me to talk to you as if i'm your mother then i wont do it. i'll just keep ignoring you from now on if it makes you feel any better."

I don't care if the person who entered hears us. I am way too deep into this fight now.

"Hyunjin, you literally only told me to fix how pathetic I am. Also, do you honestly think ignoring each other is going to help? You're so fucking ugly and disappointing."

I with a comment about his looks, knowing that it will get to this asshole the most. Hyunjin often cares very much about how he look and how others perceive him. After he hurt my I want to hurt him as well like that.

Hyunjin's eyes almost seem to shoot lasers when I call him these things and he doesnt hold back at all now, his rage is overflowing.

"I dont know what your problem is but at least I'm not the one who cant get any men to like them because nobody wants to deal with their crying ass!"

The person in the kitchen seems shocked by what is going on but doesn't seem to want to engage in the fight. So they just wait and listen.

"At least I don't grab women by their wrist to call them awful things, and when they run away, proceed to bang on their door only to insult them even more, Hyunjin. YOU are clearly the pathetic one here. I bet the only reason women like you is because of your ugly ass looks."

I've overheard one time that hyunjin hates being reduced to his looks. I now use his complex against him. He should learn his fucking lesson. I don't care what the person who entered thinks. My anger is like a fire, and it's burning higher and higher.

I can see even deeper levels of rage in his eyes now and he's absolutely seething with anger because these insults are definitely hurting his ego a lot because he's insecure about how others see him. He's even getting completely livid and he's clenching his fists almost lifting his arm up to hit me.

I look him straight into the eyes. I am afraid he could actually get physical with me so I try to say this in a sharp voice.

"Hyunjin, I'm so disappointed in you."

He starts to snap and it seems like what I said has sent him over the edge now.

"disappointed in ME?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?! IM THE ONE THAT'S DISAPPOINTED BECAUSE OF YOU! I'M DISAPPOINTED THAT I HAVE TO LIVE WITH SUCH A WASTE OF SPACE THAT CANT GET ANYONE TO LIKE HER AND CAN'T EVER BRING HERSELF TO DO ANY BETTER!!"

I flinch at his screaming but immediately become more angry myself. I clench my fists even more, and my anger begins to rage another time.

"SAYS THE PERSON WHO IS ONLY LIKED FOR HIS LOOKS. HYUNJIN, YOU ARE SO FULL OF HATRED. IT'S DISGUSTUNG. I ACTUALLY GOT SOME PEOPLE TO LIKE ME BUT ABOUT YOU EVERYONE SAYS YOU'RE HATING PEOPLE FOR NO REASON. YOU SHOULD JUST GO FUCK YOURSELF INSTEAD OF HATING ON EVERYONE!"

I scream it at his face. I don't care if the whole dorm listens, but I for sure wasn't louder than Hyunjin anyway. The voice changed when he began to shout, startling me immediately. I feel intimidated by him. My eyes began to water, but I didn't want to cry. If I did, it would only confirm my weakness.

"YOU'RE SUCH A BABY!! I CAN'T TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY AT ALL BECAUSE YOU'RE JUST THE BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT EVER. I WONT EVEN WASTE MY TIME ON YOU AND I'M GOING BACK OUTSIDE!" He immediately storms off after yelling this last part at me.

I lean against a kitchen counter and grab on it for any kind of support. I will take him storming off as a victory for now. I look up to see the person who stands in the kitchen with me, and I figure they have to have been here the entire time. I can't see the person clearly because of my watery eyes, but they seem to take a few steps into my direction.

Why do YOU hate me? - Hwang Hyunjin ffWhere stories live. Discover now