A Day In Summer

🌊 Chapter 7

Why do things work out the way they do? Why did i have to have a family that ignores my feelings and blames everything on me? why did she leave when things got hard? why wasn't she there for me when i needed it? just why

It's been a month and a half since i met Oliver and the whole group, who lately has been spamming our groupchat to plan a hang out. I keep cancelling every time because i can't find the will to move out of my bed, the only time i've moved is to feed Gigi and go to the bathroom. I haven't eaten and i don't want to, the feeling makes my stomach churn.

Knowing what's about to come has had me wanting to throw up every day, knowing what today is has made me throw up. it's her birthday. Ariel's 24th birthday.

I find myself wearing her old clothes and our matching necklaces that she bought for us after claiming that she hates when we match. living in her smell is the only thing that comforts me. Comforts me into hoping that she's still alive living in some Europe country or travelling the world with someone she loves. Hoping that even though she left us, she still has someone she can rely on and feel happy with.

I finally stop crying as my doorbell rings, i let it go. They can come back if they want to see me so bad. I try to fall asleep my eyes sore and no doubt red from the waterfalls of tears that left them not too long ago.

the person at the door keeps ringing the doorbell rapidly, making me groan and pull myself out of bed. i make it too the door not caring what i look like, opening it to see the last person i would have ever thought to turn up.

"hey" he clears his throat awkwardly "i know you probably don't want me here but i need to talk to you"

i eye my brother up and down uncertainly, not giving him an answer until he speaks again "i brought food" he held up a plastic bag "it's her favourite"

"i'm surprised you even know what it is" or was

"i know a lot more then you think" the causes me to raise my eyebrows at him, as he rolls his eyes "quesadillas with extra guacamole and sour cream, with cheese both on the inside and the outside, as well as two cherry cokes"

i let him inside without saying a word and letting him close the door behind him. sitting down at the table waiting for him to give me my share of the food. once he does we are sat in silence for a while before i break it by asking him "what did you want to talk about"

"i wanted to talk about Ariel"

"no"

"Hali please, you need this as much as i do. we've never talked about it and i know you hate me but- "

i cut him off by saying "i don't hate you, i hate the person you've become"

he looks down at his lap "i know, i guess i'm just mad at her for leaving. for leaving us and for leaving me, i needed her"

i stay there quietly listening to what he had too say "i never hated Ariel. You were little so we didn't go to the same school but i used to be bullied a lot. Ariel was always there for me and helped me get through it all, she stood up for me when no one else did"

"i didn't know that"

"no body knew the only way Ariel knew is becuase she saw me get thrown across the lockers and my bag being ripped apart and chucked in the bin."

"i'm sorry that happened to you." i reply genuinely feeling bad that people could be so cruel to a 14 year old boy, who was just trying to learn.

"don't be it's fine. anyways-" he cleared his throat before talking again, his voice getting a little bit shaky "i guess growing up i relied on her to be there too stop it and when she wasn't anymore, i was just mad. i know it sounds selfish but she was my way out and then suddenly i didn't have one anymore. as bad as it sounds i needed her, she was the only thing that made me feel better."

"you don't sound selfish, i know where your coming from. when she left i didn't have anyone, i needed her too. Well i just needed someone" i reply playing with my fingers

"i hate myself everyday for not being there for you, for not being the older brother i was supposed to be. i knew she was missing before you put up the posters, i went into her room the night she left and saw her bed empty with all her stuff gone. I knew immediately what she had done. i didn't believe it, i stayed in her room every night sitting on her bed waiting and hoping that she would come back. I guess when i saw you putting up the posters it all became too real and it finally dawned on me that she had left for good." he finally looked up at me with teary eyes trying not to cry as his lips shake a little "i'm sorry Ali, if i could take it all back i would but i can't and i know that"

"it's okay" i say timidly

"don't say that, it's not i shouldn't have left you, i shouldn't have gotten mad at you or yelled at you that night of the restaurant. you don't deserve it. i should've been there for you when you needed it. i am so sorry i did that too you" those last words caused small tears to fall from his eyes, he quickly wipes them.

"i'm sorry too"

"for what? you didn't do anything"

"for not giving you this" i say as i walk into my room pulling out my special pink box and grabbing the envelope before walking back and standing in front of him

"what's that?" he asks softly

"a letter, she wrote for us. when i got it i thought it was just for me but when i was looking thought it the other day i found more paper in there that was for you. it was just after that night at the restaurant and i was so mad at you that i didn't want to give it to you, and i should have i'm so sorry." i say feeling entirely bad as my stomach swirls with guilt

he quickly grabs the letter and pulls out his pieces of paper, reading over it while i stand there next to the chair he's sitting on making sure to not read it in case it was private. He finishes the his part of the letter and sits there silently for a while staring in front of him "are you okay?" i ask

this questions makes him look up at me and suddenly stands up walking towards me, i slowly start walking backwards not knowing what his reaction is going to be. When he finally catches up to me he quickly pulls me into a hug, i stand there for a couple seconds trying to comprehend what he's doing before hugging him back.

His embrace feels warm and comfortable, like home. i haven't had a hug from him since i was 12, it felt nice and refreshing. Harley obviously felt the same from the sigh he let leave his mouth and the way he hugged me tighter.

Eventually after what feels like hours, we let go of each other. Harley starts to rub his hand across the back of his neck "i should probably go i don't want to intrude anymore" making his way to the door

"wait. why don't you stay? we could watch a movie and you could sleep over if you want" i offer secretly hoping he'll say yes, feeling like i need his comfort on this day of all days "i have a spare bed you can sleep on"

his eyes light up and a wide smile stretches on his face "yeah i'd like that, only if we can watch a marvel movie"

i let out a small giggle "yeah sure" sitting on the couch him joining me as we sit and watch Black panther.

At some point during the movie i fall into a light sleep, the movie is obviously over when Harley picks me up bridal style and wakes me up. i keep my eyes closed letting him take me to my bed, he tucks me in under the blankets and picks up Gigi putting her next to me so she can cuddle up next to me. He squats down and softly moves the hair out of my face and kisses the top of my head "i love you so much Hali and i'm so sorry for everything. really." he says before leaving the room letting me properly fall asleep.

𓆉 𓆡𓆞𓇼𖦹𓆝

okay but i why did i tear up writing this chapter, i love sibling bonding.

what are your thoughts on this chapter?
i would love some feedback on areas that i could improve in

1561 words