A/N sorry if this sucks more then usual, I have a terrible fucking migraine rn. The trigger warnings I put do not always match up with the story. I just put whatever might happen and I'm too lazy to change them in the end.
T.W
Self harm
Rape
Sexual abuse
Physical abuse
Mental and verbal abuse
MILD psychological torture
Eating disorder
Again this is put into P.O.Vs
°{ izukus P.O.V }°
I handed over the razor blade in my phone case and I tell kacchan where they are. He looks at me with uncertainty, I understand why but I didn't lie. I was uncertain about actually telling him but I couldn't take it back now that I said it
" Is that all? " "Yeah." He gave me a concerned scowl. I understood why but still, I couldn't do more to convince him
"I'm going to throw them away, you know that right?" I knew on some level that he was going to do something but I didn't want him to throw them away, they were my only escape, the only way I felt alive, I didn't want to give them up.
"Do you have to? Please, just let me keep one blade-"
"No, you are not to cut, understand? It's hurting you deku, that's not okay to do to yourself. From now one I'm not letting you keep pencil sharpeners back here or anything like that for that matter okay?"
I wanted to cry but I couldn't, my tear ducts were dry from crying so much.
"Please, just one kacchan, one that's all I'm asking!"
"NO! Deku you're not just asking for one blade, you're asking for me to let you fucking cut, I'm not going to let you cut!" I can't lose this, I can't! It's the one thing I have.
In a blind panic, I get up and run to the bathroom, I open up the mirror cabinet and take two blades out of the black box and stuff one blade In each of my pockets. I put the black box back and step out to see a very angry kacchan.
"GIVE ME THE FUCKING BLADES RIGHT NOW!" I give him the black box, I did technically give him the blades.
"Deku, I wasn't born yesterday I know you took some from this box, give me them right fucking now!" I took one out of my pocket and gave it to him. I could only hope that he wouldn't see through my plan, until he did.
"The ther pocket, nerd." I just stood there, I can't lose this, I can't I can't I can't I can't! He reaches into my other pocket and pulls out a blade, I stop breathing for a second until I realize he's gone. Fuck. I run out of the room to see him by the trash. I freeze. He threw it away.
A wave of anger and anxiety hit me
"I SAID NOT TO FUCKING THROW THEM AWAY! WHY DIDN'T YOU FUCKING LISTEN!" I don't curse or yell often so me doing both definitely spooked him a bit.
"I'M NOT GOING TO LET YOU FUCKING SLIT YOUR WRISTS!"
"OH, SINCE WHEN DO YOU FUCKING CARE ABOUT ME KACCHAN?"
"SINCE YOU WERE RAPED!"
I feel a ping in my heart, why did he say that?
"Deku I didn't mean that, I'm sorry-"
"Just leave me alone right now." It was 7:38 pm.
I crawled into bed, still in shock from what he had said. I don't care if he regretted what he said, what he said fucking hurt. My entire life since it all started I felt like that was all I was ever worth, or that's all I would ever be. Just a toy for people to use. God I want to cut, but someone took that away from me.
YOU ARE READING
just a normal patrol
FanfictionAizawa was out on patrol when he realized one of his students passed out on the ground. he rushed over and realized something was wrong more so then he thought TW will include topics of SA and rape , ED and SH and sexual, physical and mental abuse...
