just a normal patrol

Chapter 14

A/N, I don't knowwwwww. I got into a college program, instead of studies this is what I choose to do, NO REGRETS BABYYYYY! Also all mights a fucking bitch in this chapter. Sorryyyy not sorry.✌️😘💅

- Izuku P.O.V -
I watch as the pair leave the room and I'm left there to sit in my own thoughts. Anxiety rises in my chest. I have to go to school tomorrow, what if it's just too much? What if the class finds out? They'd probably think I'm disgusting. Kirishima knows I had that episode, what if he told someone and now everyone knows? I grip my chest and tears rise to my eyes. I can't calm down, I can't bother kacchan, I need to calm down and I don't know how to! I rush to my drawers and find a pen. I bash it against the desk in an attempt to break it. I then snap it in my hands. I take note of the broken, sharp, plastic uneven edges. I grab the tip of one and tear it off, twisting and turning it in on itself until it comes off. I look up and blink away the tears.

I shouldn't do this. It's bad, people don't want me to. I shouldn't do this. I roll up my sleeve and press it into my skin, I start bawling and I battle with myself. One that I lost. I jab it into my skin as hard as I can and I watch as the blood seeps out of my skin. I take in a staggering breath and throw it across the table surface. I walk back, pulling at my hair. Suffocated sobs escape me. I rush to the door and back to the desk. My arm stings, more than usual. Maybe it was the method? I grab the broken pen and leave the room. I rush to the living room and see Kacchan on the couch.

"I don't mea-ean to bother you bu-ut I can't brea-eathe and i-i did thi-is." He stands up and I pull my shakey hand up to my face and cover my mouth. I remove them from the position and they thread up into my hair. My breathing speeds up again and I throw the shards of the pen onto the table.

"Hey, it's okay. Come here," he wraps me in a hug. I grip the front of his shirt. I continue my sobs and take sharp inhales when I can manage to.

"Take a deep breath izu, I know you can. In, two, three and out, two, three." I try to follow along. It doesn't help the panic, it just helps the reaction. I can't calm down without the blades, I can't! Soon my breathing picks up again.

"Breathe, you're okay, we'll get through this." He grabs me and pulls me back onto the couch. I hug him tightly and grip the back of his shirt. Tears fog my vision. I don't let them fall. I hold the tears in, the sobs, the screams, the shouts, and my breath. I push away from him. I walk away and go into my room. My brain is too foggy. I hear someone telling me to not enter, but I can't not go into my room. I'm sure I can find something. I search through my drawers, attempting to find something sharper.

- Katuski's P.O.V -

Izuku gets up and heads into his room. He can't go in there alone right now. I urge him to come back, he doesn't listen. I roll my eyes and follow him.

"Deku, what are you doing?" He doesn't answer, my only reply being violent shakes and irratic breathing. He digs through his drawers and confusion overtakes me. He doesn't seem to notice that I'm there. I step forward only for him to push past me and towards the kitchen.

"Deku, what the fuck is going on right now?!?" He doesn't answer. He doesn't get food, instead going for the cleaning cabinet. Realization strikes me. He doesn't hear me. Not can't hear, doesn't. He's too wrapped up in his own thoughts to hear me. He gets something and turns back to his room. I can't make out what he took but concern and instinct tells me that he shouldn't go in there with whatever he took. I rush towards the room, only to discover it's locked. Fuck. He shouldn't go in there alone with whatever it is he took! I bang on the door, pretty loudly but he doesn't fucking open it. I start freaking out. I pound on the door so fucking hard I crack a piece of it off.