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Our hands clashed together as we walk down this very known path in the woods. My sneakers squished only slightly against the semi-frozen grass. The tree branches flowing slightly in the wind as the last leaves fall off.

Turning to see my best friend talking as a puff of smoke leaves her mouth as she speaks. I can't hear the words as it's always the same. Cheerleading. Yeah she excited but it's constant.

"I can't wait for the try outs!" I heard her squeal in my ear. "What sport you playing this year?" She turned to me making me look right into her eyes. They were nice dark hazel. If the sun wasn't facing the other direction you would be able to see the smallest colour of green in them.

"I'm not playing a sport this year. I don't really wanna get hurt and shit." I laughed as I breathed in the cold air.

Just after brushing your teeth with the minty substance and breathing in fresh cold air hurts. It's like your throat is burning.

"Michael." Jane squeezes my hand making me look down at our entwined hands. "Stop being so... so- what's the word?" Looking back up at her once her feet stopped.

Jane was cute especially when she looked around thinking of something like it was so difficult. She huffs facing back towards me with a sheepish smile.

"The word is shy-"

"No no." She cuts me off. "Everyone already knows how shy you are. It's like scared but not. Like you feel trapped because you don't wanna change because people might judge of what you really like." Jane was right. Not even having the simple word what she was trying to find I knew it was true.

Everyone at school knows me. It's Nancys fault for being the 'newspaper editor' or whatever it is. So yeah it was kinda embarrassing being myself but Jane she doesn't care, same with Lucas and Dustin. Speaking of them where are they?

"Where is Lucas and Dustin?" I asked making the girl in front of me frown.

"Don't change the subject. I told them we would just meet them at school as I wanted to spend some alone time with my best friend!" She pulled me towards her as she skips on her feet with a smile.

Sometimes I wish I could be like Jane.

She wasn't afraid to be herself and everyone seems to love her, yet I have no idea who she was. I don't know anything about her. Jane was open about herself but nothing like important or meaningful. Like we don't know her.

The cold air brushed against my cheeks, freezing my chin, we walked up to the school gates where I saw my best friends, Lucas and Dustin and of course we can't forget Maxine.

Maxine; Lucas's girlfriend, aka a peace of work. When it's just us four when I can be myself around my friends they all say we're the same person just different fronts. This made me and Max get closer. I love her even though I hate her.

We walked up to the three and Max rolled her eyes at me as she grabbed Janes hand pulling her out of my grip. My hand feels the cold breeze brushing against it making me bury my hand deep into my pocket.

Lucas pulled on my elbow making me move closer to them. Dustin wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

"So." Lucas started. "You know- we all know Jane has like the biggest crush of you." He finished. This was a fact, the two idiots tell me everyday after seeing me and the girl hold hands. They say the same thing over and over-

"Mike, you should try it out with her. You never know you might just surprise yourself with the -hopefully- mutual feeling!" He beamed at his own 'idea'.

The truth is I don't know how I feel about her. I've... I've been feeling different with my feels lately. Like I love Jane don't get me wrong, I just wish I knew more about her. Like her family and shit.

But I don't think I'm just into girls or girls at all. I don't know if I'm into the same gender or the non-binary gender. It's just all confusing. It was no help with everyone at are school looks hot or cute.

Girls wear a bunch of makeup what they don't even need. Short skirts what the boys try and look up to take pictures with their phones, but not me. I don't think I ever thought 'oh let me just look under this hot girls skirt real quick' that doesn't sound like me at all.

Boys- well that was more difficult. They either bury themselves in hoodies and baggy jeans or some would wear shorts and a tight shirt. They both get to me, I like the baggy look as they look so comfortable and just easy to get lost in their clothes being double my height. but the tight shirts are nice to, you get to see their frame what they're proud of for working so hard for. I do catch myself thinking how easy to lift up the peace's of fabric letting my hand trace over their stomachs.

I'm thinking about it right now insted of listening to why me and Jane would be great partners.

The non-binary gender. They're cute I give them that but I don't really notice them. Like they show case every type of clothing what suits them, telling us clothes don't have genders what we all knew.

I wouldn't mind wearing a skirt at some point.

Soon the bell rang, letting us know it was time for class. Dustin patted my back saying;

"Think about it." Then walking off into the distance.

Lucas simply shrugged his shoulders with a tight lipped smile as we walks off towards his classroom.

Then it was just me. Just me and my mind still thinking about touching their stomachs.

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A/N: i was too impatient to post because I was going to write at least half of this story then post it while I finished new beginning but I was to excited even your hopes are tooooo high for this book because we all know I can get lazy writing but I won't let myself with this one!!! Hope y'all enjoy the first chapter!

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