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My eyes are reluctantly still on the ring when he speaks again, forcing me to remember its loaded and incredibly sobering implication.
"Like I said before," he says, his eyes still on the form as his voice temporarily distracts me from the taste of bile in my throat and the wave of guilt now washing over my soul, "we can either go with the endoscopy or do an abdominal ultrasound. Or...," he continues as his eyes move to meet mine again, "we can do an endoscopic ultrasound; a merger of the two procedures."
As his cold, icy stare seeps into my own eyes, I realize with a strange sort of clarity that there's definitely something wrong with me. There has to be. I'm not quite sure what it is, but it's there, because for some reason, my sudden feelings of disgust and increase in guilt are accompanied by a sick, twisted jump in my arousal as well.
I exhale in a rush, my eyes fluttering closed for just a second as I will myself not to look at his wedding band again; something that's proving to be a lot more difficult than I realized, and also something I never imagined I'd be doing.
"D-do...do you think it's a better option?" I say, hoping the sudden raspiness in my voice doesn't betray me, and that the question can distract me from the incessant throbbing between my thighs.
It doesn't.
"I do," he says confidently, his words accompanied by a small nod. "It would pretty much be shooting two birds with one stone. It's more efficient than the two separate procedures by themselves, and the images from an endoscopic ultrasound are of significantly higher diagnostic quality. Plus, doing it would save you an extra trip here, and more importantly, we can get to the bottom of the issue faster. A win-win all round."
Um...a win-win for who exactly? 'Cause it sure as hell doesn't feel like it for me.
Suddenly, I feel very anxious about all of this, as if I'm just now realizing that this is really happening, that it's for real now and unfolding before my very eyes and I can't stop it. I swallow, feeling a lump forming in my throat. "How safe is it?" I ask, annoyed with how strained and unsure I sound.
"Pretty safe. You're going to be monitored throughout the whole thing. It's a fairly common and standard procedure in cases like yours," he says, sounding quite confident in his words again. "It's minimally invasive. We'll have the endoscope inserted into your body through your mouth after you get sedated by a board certified anesthesiologist. You'll be put under for about an hour, which is about how long the procedure typically takes."
"Will you be doing the procedure?" I ask, unsure of what answer I want to hear.
"Our head gastroenterologist, Dr. Reginald Fletcher, will be the main physician performing the procedure, but I'll be there to oversee everything," he says casually. Somehow, the knowledge that he's going to be there makes me both relieved and anxious. I'm just not really sure which more of.
"Can you describe the process again?" I say, my voice still strained in a way that I'm sure he notices. I sound undeniably nervous, but that has more to do with the current titillating effect he has on me than any uncertainty I feel about the endoscopy. I know all too well how endoscopies go for the most part—thanks to my grandfather's pancreatic cancer—and I was already familiar with most of the things Frost told me when he first explained what generally happens during the procedure earlier today. Still, I need to distract myself from the insistent pulsing in my chest and the one between my thighs, and it's the only thing I can think of asking him right now that might help do that.
He doesn't hesitate in answering, and doesn't seem to mind going over the details again. "Sure thing. The endoscope is a very thin and flexible tube with a built-in camera in it so that we can get live visuals of what's going on inside. With an endoscopic ultrasound, the endoscope has both a built-in camera and a small ultrasound transducer so that it can emit high frequency sound waves that will help give clear pictures of not only your digestive tract and the layers of your intestines, but surrounding organs and blood vessels such as your aorta as well.
"Its main advantage is that the imagery we get from the endoscopic ultrasound is of significantly higher quality than an ultrasound from outside the body cavity. Without the skin and layers of fat lining both the interior and exterior of your body, we won't have to deal with the visual obstructions they typically impose and can see significantly more detail. Combined with the camera, we get a wealth of information we may not otherwise receive."
He keeps talking, but I barely register most of what he's saying over the ringing in my ears and the blood rushing in my head, not to mention the other myriad of things going on in my body that are fighting for my attention.
Suddenly, the sound of separating Velcro rips loudly through the room as he removes the cuff from my arm, and I feel my muscles decompress from the former pressure they were under, along with the tell-tale, tingling sensation of blood rushing through the veins there.
"I'm going to take your temperature now," he says simply, putting the blood pressure meter back on the counter and grabbing a cylindrical device with a slightly pointy tip. I can only assume that it's the thermometer, though I've never seen one quite like it before.
"Stand," he says.
My brow arches of its own accord at his request—if one can even call it that, considering almost everything that comes out of his mouth at any given time sounds an awful lot like a demand—wondering why I need to be standing for a thermometer to be in my armpit, but I comply anyway. I can't take much more of this overbearing tension and I just want to get this physical exam over and done with already.
He looks at me for a moment, and something unreadable passes through his eyes.
I try not to think much of it. But then his hand motions to my jeans, and he speaks again. "Take them off."
***
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Doctor-Patient Confidentiality: New Adult Enemies-to-Lovers Romance
Romance"That's it, baby," he continues, his tone almost soothing, despite the filth spilling from his lips. "Take my cock. Take all of it." Baby. My belly flutters, my heart soaring like a fool even though I know it's a runaway utterance. A thoughtless spi...
