Friends (GxG) | FreenBecky Fanfic

Chapter 20

REIVEN'S POV**

Eto nanaman tayo, ingame sa walang tulugan.
My heart still races every time maalala ko ginawa ni West kanina.

It wasn't the first time she pinned me down like that, pero I still get chills every time she does.

Hindi ko alam kung saan ako maguguluhan, sa rash actions nya ba kanina or sa sinabi nya.

Both nalang siguro?

Basing sa words nya kanina, was there something she wants to tell me but somehow hindi nya kaya?

West may be really unpredictable and everything, pero knowing her, she's a really sentimental and reasonable person. Di sya gagawa ng mga bagay na walang dahilan.

Take the scene earlier as an example. Hindi naman sya nagagalit basta basta nang ganun kalala, she has a bad temper pero di naman sya magwawala nang ganun without a valid reason.

The catch is, hindi niya kaya sabihin ano mga reasons nya.

So it won't be a surprise kung may mga bagay na hindi nya magawang sabihin sakin.

Kung ano man yun, I hope one day comes and she'll have courage to tell me.

Dahil hindi parin talaga ako makatulog, napagisipan kong magpaantok nalang muna.

Pero pagbaba ko, the lights were open, nasa baba rin pala sya.

I took a quick peek sa hagdan at halos muntik nanaman ako madulas when I saw her looking at me.

Magtatanong sana ako pano nya nalaman na andun ako, naibagsak ko pala pagsara ng pinto kanina.

I just gave her a quick smile bago ako dumiretso sa kusina.

Nasa sala sya and she's doing the exact same thing I plan to do. Guess she can't sleep either.

Should I take it as another chance to talk to her?

Pumunta ako sa kusina para magkalkal sa fridge anong pwede mainom, turns out di pa pala kami nakakarestock kaya Bailey's nalang natira.

I grabbed a bottle, a glass at umupo rin sa tabi ni West.

Even if I had a chance to talk to her right now, di ko rin alam ano ang sasabihin ko.

Empty words will never reach West.

If I need to make her tell me something, kailangan ko talaga pag isipan mga sasabihin ko.

"Can't sleep?" tugon ko breaking the silence between us both.

She's just fixated on her glass, swirling the alcohol in it.

"Mhm," she replied without even throwing me a look.

I decided to just divert the topic into a less awkward one instead of bringing up something else.

"About this morning, Im sorry I couldn't make it home," I said as I look at her carefully.

She's pretty as always, although you could see in her eyes she's carrying a lot of problems.

How I wish she'd just open up to me.

The thing is, West is really great at hiding her feelings and emotions. She usually has that cold and empty look 24/7, pero at some point, she let's her guard down and makikita mo talaga gano na rin sya kapagod sa ginagawa nya.

Kung ako poker face sa lagay na to, triplehin mo kay West.

It's like, there's a bubble around her preventing people around her come any near her personal life.

Pili lang nakakapasok sa buhay nya eh.

Back then, West used to be such a bubbly and funny person, but as years pass, she started talking less.

To the point she became the known West today. I don't complain, I'm fine with how and who she is now.

"No big deal, sira rin kalan kanina kaya di ako nakapagluto," she replied.

"Oh, weh?" takang tanong ko.

Kaya pala walang lutong ulam sa oven nor sa ref.

"Did you read my messages? I asked you ano number ng bilihan ng tanke kasi o-order ako. Guess you were too busy to read it," she added before grabbing the Bailey's and refilling her glass.

"Im sorry, mahina kasi signal sa pinuntahan ko kaya di ko siguro nareceive yung iba," I replied.

Again, tumango lang sya.

I was about to ask her something again pero naunahan nya na ako.

"Is there something you're not telling me, Reiven?" she asked.

Bigla nanaman ako kinabahan.

"Like what?"

"Nothing," she ended the topic on the spot.

Left me more puzzled.

We were silent for a couple of minutes again until I finally had the courage to say something.

Nakarami na rin kasi talaga ako kaya tinamaan na ako nang konti.

"I really wish you could be more vocal sa iniisip mo West. Ang hirap kasi intindihin ng gusto mo," tugon ko.

Nabaling naman tingin ko sakanya. She wasn't saying anything, she's just looking at me quietly.

"You're always giving me signals, di ko alam ano meaning ng signals mo. I can't understand what you want and mean, why can't you just say it?" tanong ko ulit.

When she didn't answer me, I scoffed and was about to leave na nang magsalita sya.

"In my mind, there are things that would make you happy and hurt you. There are scary things as well. Would you still care to look into me knowing you'd end up being hurt?" she said while her head was turned back against me.

Natahimik ako nang saglit.

West has always been there for me at my lowest point, sige sabihin na nating napaka complicated at gulo nyang tao. But still, she never left my side.

We've already been through lots of things and been past through so many problems.

At this point, I won't even care if masasaktan ako with things I do concerning her.

I was always and would be always ready to take the risk for her.

But this time, I also care about my well-being.

Di ko pwede makalimutan na im trying to dispose of this stupid feeling for her.

"Goodnight," was the only that came into mind kaya after saying it umakyat na ako sa kwarto, and decided to go to sleep.

At some point na guilty ako. She was trying to open up herself but I didn't know how to accept it.

I was stuck between the desire of being closer to her than before, being able to know what's been inside her mind, or the desire to finally heal myself from the feelings I kept for years inside me.

Kahit antok na antok na ako di ko parin kaya matulog.

There's so much thing bothering my mind.

I feel like I'd give up at some point with my plan of getting over her if I didn't meet Via.

Somehow, she gave me a reason to actually think about myself and actually give my attention to someone who'd be able to reciprocate my feelings if ever I develop one.

But thinking of how she makes me feel just from her smallest smile, I think I already developed one.

Siguro kang papipiliin ako, I'd prefer someone na kaya sabihin ano iniisip nya and ano nararamdaman nya.

I'd choose the person na di matatakot sabihin sakin ano talaga nararamdaman nya.

Finally with things bugging my head, I finally dozed off into my sleep.