Villains Learn How To Text

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Hades:

Hades: Y/N apple of my eye, joy in my life, cream in my coffee.

Y/N: You like your coffee black dad.

Hades: Aw you know me too well.

Y/N Want me to bring you some coffee?

Hades; NO! YOU COULD BURN YOURSELF!!


Horned King:

Horned King: Here

Horned King: Here

Horned King: HERE!!

Y/N: Dad, what are you doing?

Horned King: I keep demanding this stupid thing to bring you here but it's not working.

Y/N: Geez dad, it's not a portal.

Horned King: Then what's the point?!


Dr. Facilier:

Dr. Facilier: Y/N I'm so glad you showed me this online stuff, people are already messaging me for fortunes from all over the world.

Y/N Glad it's working for you dad.

Dr. Facilier: It is but I'm really confused at some of these responds. What does LOL mean?

Y/N: Laugh out loud

Dr. Facilier: Well that's stupid. What about ikr?

Y/N: I know right.

Dr. Facilier: I know you know, that's why I'm asking you.

Y/N: No dad, that's what it means.

Dr. Facilier: Ah I got you now.

Y/N: Anything else?

Dr. Facilier: One more. What's I H8 U D BAG?

Y/N I'm not answering that

Dr. Facilier: What?

Y/N: Trust me dad, you SO don't want to know.


Scar:

Scar: What is this thing?

Y/N: I don't know... how do we know how it works?

Scar: ...We're just very clever


Jafar:

Y/N: Dad, why did you tell the cooks not to make my cakes

Jafar: Because you bounce off the walls enough as it is.

Y/N HEY! WHY AM I BEING PUNISHED?!

Jafar: IAGO GIVE Y/N BACK HER PHONE!


Captain Hook:

Hook: Y/N! NO MATTER WHAT WORD I TYPE EVERYTHING IS BIG

Y/N: Do you keep pushing the CAP button?

Hook: OF COURSE I AM A CAPTAIN

Y/N: That's not what that means dad


Frollo:

Frollo: What is wrong with a simple hand written letter?

Y/N: Texting saves paper and saves ink, and honestly dad I can't read your scribbles.

Frollo: It's not scribbles! It's cursive.


Ratigan:

Ratigan: Dear, I'm proud that you are taking charge but Felicia will be expecting a mouse every hour at this rate.

Y/N: I didn't feed anyone to her.

Ratigan: THEN WHERE IS EVERYBODY?!


Gaston:

Gaston: Y/N are these three girls that look the same your friends?

Y/N: No dad.

Gaston: Then why are they always around?

Y/N: I thought they were your friends

Gaston: This is creepy


Maleficent:

Maleficent: What magic is this?

Y/N: It's not magic mom, it's tech.

Maleficent: This little device is answering every question I ask it. That's magic.


Cruella De Vil:

Cruella: 4:00 read newest fashion magazine

Cruella: 5:00 contact the media

Cruella: 6:00 take Y/N out for fabulous dinner

Y/N: Mother, what are you doing?

Cruella: Oh is this not for scheduling?

Y/N No, there's an app for that.

Cruella: A what?


Ursula:

Y/N: Wow mom how did you manage to make a phone waterproof and never run out of batteries?

Ursula: Child, I gave a mermaid legs. This was easier.

Y/N: You're awesome mom.

Ursula: See I do deserve to be queen

Y/N: If you do this to every phone in the world on land I bet they would make you their queen.

Ursula: .... We're moving to the land. 

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