Periwinkle - Life in shades of blue (part 1)

Enough

Even the best fall down sometime
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide
Collide by Howie Day

TW// death (kinda intense)

Air buzzes around me as the scene before my eyes takes physical form. Silence broken by some sniffling, heavy breaths, rubber under the soles of shoes screeching on the white tiles. The smell of disinfectant and medical alcohol, mixed with smoke and something revoltingly sweet.

The steel stretcher before me is too large for the tiny corpse carefully wrapped in clean sheets.

No one turns around when I teleport myself directly in this room. Ieiri stares out an open window smoking a cigarette, Nanami has his eyes covered with a cloth, breathing heavily as if he just carried the body here himself. Not even Suguru greets me. He's the closest to Haibara's cadaver, fingers gently holding the sheet to hide him from everyone else's eyes.

"What happened?" I feel out of breath even if I didn't actually move a muscle to get here, I just teleported in the middle of a mission as soon as I got Suguru's call.

"Something went wrong on their recent mission." Suguru is the one answering me, turning around to face me when he's successfully covered Haibara's face. His eyes meet mine in a cold stare, void of emotion, not a single hint of sadness in his voice. His hands are firm by his side, his stance completely unbothered. He lowers his eyes, interpreting my silence as astonishment. "Nanami brought him here."

"Ieiri, what are you waiting for? Heal him." Her shoulders twitch when I mention her name, but she doesn't turn around. Nanami removes the cloth from his forehead, wiping the sweat away and closing his eyes. I can tell he's trying to keep his thoughts to himself.

"She already tried to stabilize his vitals. It didn't work." He gets closer to squeeze my shoulder, trying to pull me in for a hug. "I'm sorry."

What's he sorry for?

I don't let him hug me, I step back and squint my eyes. Why is he acting so unbothered? He was his friend, he was so much closer to him than me. "What are you doing? This is not normal." A flash of regret in his eyes pushes the rest of the words out my mouth. "These things shouldn't happen! They should've sent someone stronger, someone- "

"They should have sent you." Nanami's low and shaky voice interrupts me, making both me and Suguru turn to face him. He's still sitting on a chair too small for him, head hanging low and ragged breaths shaking his chest. I've never seen him so upset. "I don't understand..." a bitter laugh makes even Ieiri turn around, "why they send us to die if they already have you."

I gulp, hearing him say exactly everything that I've been thinking somehow hits different. Suguru takes one step forward to stand between us when Nanami holds up his head, staring daggers through me. "It should've been you, not him."

"Careful there," Suguru closes the distance, towering above our schoolmate. His cursed energy quivers a little where the back of his neck contracts. "It's not his fault."

Nanami snaps up, when he rises from the chair he almost looks older than Suguru. "It is though!" His face is red and hands ball up by his side, pure anger deforming his features, his teeth showing. "If he's so strong, why do we have to die for him?"

A loud snap, the sound of skin clashing on skin. Nanami holds a hand where Suguru's palm slapped his cheek and lowers his eyes to avoid him. "Drop out if you're so unsatisfied. But don't put the blame on him for your own selfishness." Suguru's voice is seething, words dragging out through gritted teeth.