Silence

Ch 4 || I'm so sorry.

I look up and when I tell you Snape is pissed I mean Snape is pissed. He basically run stomps over and I roll up my sleeves forgetting the damage I did this morning and start apologizing profusely starting to clean.

"I- I'm so sorry Professor.." He widens his eyes when he sees my arms and I get a gut feeling that he sees. Even though I didn't see him do it, I know he did. I roll my sleeves back down "Get up. NOW!" he yells and I get up.

"Class dismissed. OUT NOW! You stay." and everyone runs out while I stand there covered in the spilled potion trying not to cry.

"Miss Lupin what did I tell you??" He says grabbing my chin forcing me to look at him.

"I- I'm so so sorry.." he grabs my wrist hard and drags me up a few stairs behind his desk into his office.

"Shower, Now." he points to his bathroom and I nod walking over. I lock the bathroom door and get undressed. I turn on the shower and sit in the bath crying. The warm water is stinging my cuts from earlier and it just makes the pain worse.

I hear a soft knock on the door. "I'm coming in for a second to give you some new clothes and a towel. I don't know how well it's going to fit you, but it will work.." he has a shower curtain that's not see through so it doesn't really matter. "Okay.." I say trying to sound like I haven't been crying.

He opens the door and leaves the stuff on his counter and then walks back out locking the door. I decide to use some of his soap and stuff to wash the potion off of me. Now I smell like him.. fuck.

I turn the water off and grab the towel drying myself off. I get out and then get dressed into the clothes he has given me. A probably very oversized shirt and sweats. I put them on and dry off my hair and walk out. He's sitting on his bed reading and glances up when he sees that I've come out.

He runs over to me hugging me and I stand there wondering why. I look down and see my arms. oh.. that's why.

"Dear.. why.. you shouldn't be doing this to yourself!" He pulls back and cups my face gently and I cry. He gently brushes a tear from my cheek with his thumb and I shiver.

"I know! I'm sorry.. It's fine, I'm okay."

"No you're not! let me help you!"

"I don't want it!"

"Well too bad." he says hugging me again and that's when the tears start pouring. He gently picks me up and brings me to his bed sitting down and holding me close. I burry my head into his neck and he gently rubs my back shushing me.

It feels almost nice. No one ever does this. I mean my dad used to, but he doesn't know that I'm doing it again.. and I probably won't tell him.

He continues to rub my back and I start to calm down. "Good girl.. now please," he cups my face gently "let me help you." and then kisses my forehead. I nod softly and he smiles pulling me back into another gentle hug.

I feel so safe, so warm, that I start to fall asleep in his arms. He doesn't flinch or move, he just lays me down on his bed and pulls a blanket over me kissing my forehead softly. He walks to his couch and lays down.

In the morning I feel some soft shaking and I look up to find Severus standing over me. "Time for school. I washed your robes so they're clean now, okay?" he smiles and I nod "Thank you." "Anytime dear."

I get up and go to the bathroom finding my clothes laid out folded neatly and I smile. my dad just lays them in a pile. I chuckle softly to myself.

I get dressed and then walk out and he smiles. "Hey." I say with a smile "Hey." he says getting up and he comes over to me and hugs me.

"Professor wh-" "Call me Severus." he says softly "Severus- what does this mean..?" "What do you mean by that?" he says handing me a cup of tea and I smile softly. "Thanks.." I take a sip "I mean us, Severus I feel like I love you." I say on accident and cover my mouth and he smiles softly walking closer to me. He takes the cup from my hand and places it on the table cupping my hand and caressing my face softly. "I think.. I might love you too, Y/N."

I blush softly and smile. He looks at me and I look at him until he kisses my forehead softly. "We can figure it out later, okay? For now you need to go eat some breakfast before your lessons start." I nod and then grab my bag walking out and into the great hall.

Lana and Elise look at me. "What?" I say sitting down. "Where were you this time?" "Guys, I'm not five" I roll my eyes and take an apple. "Where are the boys?" "Still sleeping I guess." Lana says shrugging her shoulders. I hear loud footsteps and I look to find the three boys running into the great hall. "Sorry.. Slept in.." Draco says with a soft smile. "It's okay." I smile back.

Then the day starts like normal and we go to our classes. Once it's lunch I grab Draco's wrist "Ow, Y/N where are we going?" I don't answer him, I just keep walking until we get to the astronomy tower.

"Y/N, what are we doing here?" I sigh and let go of his wrist and start fidgeting my hands. I bite my lip. "Y/N will you tell me what this is about?"

I look down and then back up at him. "I can't do this anymore.." He looks at me with concern and puts his hand on my shoulder "Do what Y/N?"

"Us.."

"I- are you.. are you breaking up with me..?" he says with a real look of pain and I sigh and nod softly.

"Wha... Why?"

I shake my head "Someone else.."

"Who?"

"I can't tell you.."

"Why not!"

"Because Draco I can't ok?" I say running out of the astronomy tower and I feel bad.

I avoid Draco all day and then it's potions. I yell at Snape just to get him to make me stay after class, which worked. I mean, I know he can read minds so I sent him a little head message saying I'm going to yell at you to stay after class, okay? I don't mean it. And he nods softly letting me know he got the message.

The class runs out and he walks over to me and I start crying. "Y/N? What's wrong?" He sits next to me and puts his hand on my shoulder. "I- I broke up with Draco.." "Really.. Why?" "For you! I love you Severus! And I can't hide it anymore." I say leaning into him.

He hugs me back and rubs my back softly. "I love you too, Y/N. More than I want to admit." He picks up my face and makes me look at him. He cups my cheeks and wipes a tear off of my cheek and kisses me softly which I return.

He pulls back and smiles. "But Y/N.. if we.. let this happen, you can't tell anyone. And your dad can NOT find out, understand?" I nod and he smiles kissing my forehead softly. "Good."