2024: my digital diary

02.17 Hungover

I woke up at 12. I went to sleep again and woke up at 14. I cooked lunch, spaghetti again. I ate and felt super tired.

I went back to bed and fell asleep for more time. Saint texted asking what was I up to. I told him to come over tonight and watch a film at my place.

He came round at 21. He cooked homemade pizza as I showered. We talked in the kitchen. He told me about a girl he had sex with last night, I told him about talking with Vinnie. He also told me that last night, he went outside to look for me, so he went over to Tony and Mark to ask if they had seen me, and they replied "she's probably somewhere making out with Sonny".

I told Saint about the whole "drama" (cause it's not really a drama, it's more gossip based on nothing) about our entire friend group thinking there is something going on between me and Sonny. I expected these types of comments and jokes to come from other people in the friend group, not from Sonny's brother and best friend.

Saint and I ate pizza and caramel ice cream in the sofa as we watched Kids by Larry Clark. He hugged me and caressed my waist, we always cuddle when we are together. There was a second when he got up and to do this he positioned himself on top of me and looked at me from above for some short seconds. Saint and I are really just friends, but for a second there I felt the impulse to ask him to fuck me right there.

This night I slept on the couch and he took my bed, and I thought about this. I hooked up with Saint once, many years ago. We've never again brought the subject up again, and have no idea what he thinks of me nowadays. Things were chill but lately because we are so close I'm developing a bit of a sexual craving and Saint has definitely crossed my mind. I won't say a thing, of course, that would make things awkward.

Good night.