xicheng fics

i'll be alright

It's not often Jiang Cheng does this, sitting on the dock, his boots off to the side, his pants rolled up, and his feet dipped into the cool water, it almost makes him feel relaxed. Earlier, to his complete surprise, instead of finding more paperwork to do, he was met with the smooth surface of his table, for once, he had an empty to-do pile. It's been so long since he enjoyed the nice weather.

And it's definitely not because a certain someone told him that he needs to relax more.

Jiang Cheng sighs, tilting his head up to look at the sky, the puffy clouds are no longer white, now they're mixed with purples and pinks, signalling that the sun is to set soon. Huh. Has it really been so long? Not that Jiang Cheng is complaining, sunsets are another rare sight for Jiang Cheng, he never really had much time to appreciate them, let alone see them. But now that he is, Jiang Cheng wishes he could share this view with someone else. The world always looks more colourful when he is around. Jiang Cheng shifts his gaze back to the lake, orange hues are gleaming in the water, the lotuses are fragrant, their scent nostalgic, reminding him of a time long gone, and Jiang Cheng closes his eyes.

In fleeting moments, Jiang Cheng wishes he could go back, to be a child again, to fix everything. Jiang Cheng doesn't dwell on it too much these days, it's a path he took too many times in the past, those sleepless nights, the metallic taste of blood in his mouth, the phantom pain he feels deep within his chest like it was being split open again. It's a path that never led him anywhere good.

The splash of the water pulls him out of that thought, he blinks his eyes open, the floral scent is still there as the sun moves further westwards, the sky has darkened a bit, if he stays out even longer, he might get to see the first star. Maybe he might even make a wish, silly as it sounds.

And Jiang Cheng thinks of him – Lan Xichen – instead.

Jiang Cheng glances down, the bite mark on his calf is still visible somehow and he curses Lan Xichen in his head — this man.

He could hear Lan Xichen's voice in his head, a quiet praise for taking time for himself, he could see the gentle smile, he could feel the warmth of Lan Xichen's hand on his shoulder, and Jiang Cheng couldn't help but smile to himself as well. This thing between him and Lan Xichen isn't anything new, it had been over a year now since they both confessed, near-death situations truly do bring out the depths of one's emotions, who could've thought?

Still, it's something precious, delicate, to Jiang Cheng, no matter how many times they tumble into bed together, or the stolen kisses when no one is looking, or the gentle touches underneath tables, it never gets old, it never tires him. With Lan Xichen, everything always feels new, and fresh, like it's his first time, over and over again. Jiang Cheng never felt this way before. It was scary at first, to put trust into someone else's hands like that, to let someone in, for them to see Jiang Cheng without the masks and the carefully constructed walls. But Lan Xichen understood all too well about that, Lan Xichen let Jiang Cheng in the same way Jiang Cheng slowly let Lan Xichen in, they both steadily took down each other's walls, and Jiang Cheng will never regret that decision.

Jiang Cheng would never admit it out loud, and quite frankly, this specific thought never happened! But... he misses Lan Xichen, a fair bit.