Shattered

romantic attractions(8)

A/N holy fuck its been a minute since i updated sorry about that! also changed red hair girls name to Alejandra if yall have questions about the book so far let me know and i shall do a QnA

"This is weird"

I thought this to myself as I shot awake rather strange dream i had last night. It included the red hair girl and I well kissed her. 

Before you intrude this isn't because i'm in denial of being queer. I understand people my age have such romantic attractions but I have never experienced this in my life. Weird does this mean that I like girls? I am unsure what to make of this, I stand up and stare blankly at the wall. Who could I even speak to about this. How do i speak of this and I definitely can't tell my mom.

Strange but I must not dwell on it for to long I have school and need to be dressed. I put my clothes on and go downstairs and find my mom had made me pancakes. Maybe she really is back forever this time and we can go back to being happy like before I mean we don't need my father to be happy he's what started this all anyways.

I eat my breakfast and head out. Waiting for me is none other than the red girl Alejandra my dreams tell me I long for by my side. Is this a thing now does she walk me to school now? Oh whatever I guess I will walk with her.

"wassup Eliza! yo your hair looks fire today very pretty very pretty." she says in a calm demeanor that makes my heart skip a beat. Wait no. stop that I don't like her! She looks me in the eye and smiles and gosh I feel the butterflies swarming my stomach. NO! What's wrong with me! "Hey Alejandra just out of curiosity what would you say is your sexuality for no specific reason not that I care or anything just curious you know." I ask rambling. No why the hell did I just say that she's gonna think I'm weirs

"Oh well I guess i'm pansexual now that I think about it. Why you interested?" she chuckles and winks clearly showing she was joking but I was to flustered to realize "pftttt me? noooooo uhm i was like curious HAHAHAHHA"  

My heart fluttered as we continued to talk on the way to school when we reach the school we walk towards the spot we go before homeroom and spot Jonah. Should I tell him? Would he support me. Gosh I did not need to add this to the problems in my life. Alejandra starts talking and I blush why does my heart flutter at everything she does.

The bell rings which means off to homeroom the red hair girl wave at me goodbye and I smile very brightly, oh my god! what is wrong with me this is driving me insane why do I feel like this why now why for her.

Through out the entirety of the day I couldn't stop getting flustered at her and smiling when talking to her. Gosh if feel like a complete idiot I need to tell someone! I cant stand it anymore okay I admit it I may have a small crush on her! and I may be realizing I like girls this is a major discovery in my life I need to talk to Jonah.

A/N WOWZERS sorry for not updating as of late i'm like drained mentally but im doing better than last year so YIPPE! hope you enjoyed !