Do I Deserve This? (JOHNNIE GUILBERT X READER)

Chapter 11: Anonymous Caller

  I am now aware that as I step into my room, I'll always be alone no matter how hard I try not to be. I've been rotting in here for days, my hair is drenched in grease as a matter of fact. But I don't care right now, I don't have a good reason to care. My eyes drift around my entire room, searching for something to feel good about...But there's nothing. It's empty. cold. bare. Meaningless. It's been days since I've last seen or spoken to Johnnie. I've been giving him a break, just as he's asked me to. There's nothing really more for me to do. Tara and Jake offered for me to stay here while Johnnie figures stuff out, but I'm not sure that'll he'll  ever "figure stuff out". Maybe he'll break up with me permanently. Tara hasn't even talked about the kiss at all. I guess she forgot or just doesn't want to remember...But you don't just forget something like that, do you?She has to know, she just wants to avoid it and it's very apparent. I look at the time, reminding me it's time to go downstairs and head to work. Work is definitely not the place I want to be right now. I want to be with Johnnie. I usually don't think of people like that, but something about him always pulls me in everytime like a magnet. I walk down the huge, wooden stairs and put both my shoes on. Jake steps towards me, "Leaving already?" he asks, jokingly in a southern accent. His hair is messy and spread in all different directions. Sometimes I hate talking to people, it feels like I have to put a tremendous amount of effort just to speak. Just to form words out of my mouth. And half the time I don't even know what to say back, what sounds best to say and how to come up with a reply in the first place. My social anxiety is terrible, if you couldn't tell already. Welcome to my fucking life.

I step into my car, closing the car door as my body sits in the seat. I look around, turning my head left then slowly to the right. Taking in the environment and noticing little details that most of the time I wouldn't think twice about. The leaves spread across the trees shift from up to down as the wind blows. There's one brown, rotten-looking leaf that stands out from all the rest. The blackish-blue birds flying up in the sky are an uneven number of birds. That annoys me for some weird reason. Now that I think of it, Let's be honest, I would usually observe these sorts of things. Suddenly the phone pings. I turn my head to the side and down to look at my phone. It's a text message notification from an unknown number. Should I look at it? Why bother, it's probably a spam text anyway. But it intrigues me, still. Even if it could be something stupid. I always overthink things, but this might be the one time I actually don't overthink something, for once. Even though it's highly unlikely this text is anything important, I hesitantly stare down at my phone before picking it up and opening the text. "Hey 😉" the text said. Again I know. I know I shouldn't think much of this, but I can't help and wonder who the hell is this.

Y/n:
"Hello?? Who is this?"

Again, I don't know why I'm texting this number back. What the hell am I doing? The person replies back, I immediately look at it.

Anonymous Person:
"Doesn't matter who I am, the real question is, who are you? Y/n"

"It's like you're so bottled up, I still can't figure out who is really behind that face"

His words hit me like a 10-inch dagger to the gut. This is when I begin to panic, because now what I thought was just my over imagination is true. It's not just a stupid spam text, is it? For all I know I could know this person and it could be a prank...But, it feels different. This feels real like something bad will happen soon. Like the person on the other side of the screen is patiently waiting to kill me at just the right time. Also, I'm not sure how to respond to something like that. "Who am I?". Normally I would say y/n, but he clearly already knows that. I don't know who I am anymore. I haven't known that for a long time.

Y/n:
"Whoever this is, it isn't funny. Stop trying to prank me, Jake"

I say Jake because he's the only person I'm close with that would do this. Although, Tara would do this as well. But I know for sure it wasn't Johnnie, after what we're going through right now.