18+ ONLY |
WARNINGS: smut, alcohol, drugs, explicit language, panic attacks / anxiety, murder, crime, suicide
Noah Sebastian x Fem!Reader
I was lost, but now I'm found
Under the lights and in the sounds
So let us sing and sing it loud
That we're...
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"I- the whole reason I did this robbery in specific," I stated, opening the glovebox in front of her, revealing the plastic bottles, "was to get back your meds. That's why I've been so distant."
She stared at the orange bottles, detached.
"I have felt so fucking guilty, that I have barely been able to look at you knowing what I did," my voice began to raise, "Like how fucked up am I? That I could do that to you, knowing, that they're supposed to be helping you?"
I scoffed at myself as I slammed the glovebox, making Y/N jump in the process.
The more I fool myself The more I feel it creeping in I think I lost my mind again
"Y/N," I whispered now, "I am so sorry I did this to you. I am so sorry I dragged you into this."
The more I start to fall The more I don't see me at all I think I lost my mind again
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Y/N
I pulled my knees to my chest beneath the sheets of my bed as soft sobs escaped my chest. I breathed in and out heavily, lips parted as I coughed, congested from the tears that stained my cheeks.
So much happened, and my overwhelmed mind began to spiral. I wanted to blame myself for Noah's decision, but at the same time how could I blame him? He needed the money, and I let him into my life without looking at the consequences. I shouldn't look past his actions, and if I was a normal person I'd kick him out of my life... but I was already wrapped around his finger.
I really was so naive, huh?
I wanted to trust Noah. I still trust Noah.
So in the end it was all my fault, because why did I trust someone who had just come into my life so deeply?
When will that trust wear thin till the point it breaks and crumbles, shattering into an unfixable mess?
As I cried my tears for Noah, my chest heaved from the anxiety of my past. I swore to myself that I wouldn't go back to that fucking mask; that I wouldn't let them find me. Yet, here I was, completely exposed again and traceable.
