Attack on Titan: Survival and Dedication - Male Reader

PART THREE

A constant course scratch filled the room. It was a small and almost unnoticeable sound, but when the city fell silent beyond stone walls and frost-covered windows it was the only thing to be heard.
  "What are you doing?" Y/N asked from bed. He didn't know what time it was or if it was even Hange. It could've been a rat scratching at the floor for all he knew.
  "I had a peculiar dream." Hange whispered. Beyond the door was a faint and distant thump of a night owl.
  "Hmm." Y/N pulled his blankets closer and looked at the wall hugging his bed. He waited for either sleep to claim him or another one of Hange's rants. One came sooner than the other.
  "Would you like to hear it?" She asked. Y/N was pleasantly surprised that she did. He was expecting her to blast him with questions.
  "Sure." He cleared his throat and the thoughts of sleep from within. To be honest, he didn't mind the sound of her voice.
  "I find the Titans to be a fascinating subject. Outside of conversation, it's annoying. People have their myths and beliefs but no solid evidence. Debate is another dream. Other than you and the others I haven't met a soul so—so... What's the word I'm looking for?"
  "Obsessed?" Y/N mumbled past his wool fortress.
  "In a way." She replied with an audible smile. "I haven't met anyone so engrossed with them. I suppose that's why I have the occasional dream where they talk or exhibit more human behavior."
  "You never know I guess." The sound of a book closing filled the air. For a moment he heard Hange sigh and groan as she stretched. "Titans are... weird."
  "A simple and straightforward explanation. But true nonetheless."
  A burst of freezing air filled Y/N's shelter, covering his arms and back in goosebumps. He bit his tongue and swallowed the complaint threatening to erupt from within.
  "What would Titans talk about?" She asked, huddling close until their backs touched.
  "About how crazy you are." Y/N sighed. "They probably have nightmares about you."
  "I suppose I did kidnap a few of their kind..." Hange hummed. "And... subjected them to torture before their untimely deaths."
  "You're just now realizing it?"
  "I never thought about it." She gave a joyful hum. "Goodnight."
  "Mhm."
  She reared back, giving him a good nudge.
  "Goodnight." He said.
  "Goodnight." She repeated with an unseen smile.

Never did it occur to Y/N that every map he sketched and everything he documented could be used for war.
  It could be argued that this was war but he certainly felt like a high-ranking general overseeing an operation.
  He filled in the blanks on Erwin's map, establishing abandoned villages, noting places of interest, and highlighting areas deemed hazardous.
  "Where'd you learn how to read a map?" Mike asked. He sat across the table, either daydreaming or watching over his progress. "Not many know how. Not like you, anyway."
  Y/N placed key checkpoints throughout the route. It was easy to get lost but with each location throughout the long path, it would help ease the way. He also had to take into account their wagons. Hills and steep terrain were off the list.
  "My mom." Y/N hummed.
  "What can't you do?" Nanaba asked jokingly.
  "Anything outside of my job." And he meant it. Almost instantly they filled in the presented blanks.
  "You could be a mailman once this is all over." Gelgar chuckled.
  "Or, you know, some sort of engineer?" Lynne didn't take too kindly to Gelgar's supposed jokes.
  "Ignore him." Henning sighed. "He gets grumpy when he isn't drunk."
  "Gelgar, Henning. Please go check on Thomas." Mike sighed. Either the last of his squad had fallen into the toilet or was slain on it.
  "He's just outside. I can see the outhouse from here." Gelgar groaned.
  "Quit being such a baby." Henning groaned back. "Come on."
  As the door shut, Y/N's detailed sketches and practiced hands continued filling in the yellowed parchment. Soon he set aside a ruler and pencil to consult older pages within his journal.
  "So, Y/N," Nanaba set aside a book with a content sigh. "What were you up to before all of this?"
  "Deliveries." He replied bluntly. "I was a mailman, I guess."
  "World's best mailman." Lynne smiled. "I can't imagine the adventures you've been on. To deliver a package through a Titan's backyard? Traveling between each and every district? Hmph. You're by far the most interesting - and probably crazy - mailman I've ever seen."
  "Stop it, my ego is bloating." Y/N replied dryly, earning a small laugh. "And you?"
  "I tended to crops with my parents." Lynne held a fond smile. She obviously looked back on it with nostalgia.
  "Funny, I used to seed them." Nanaba added. Her dry tone suggested she was neither fond of nor caring of the memory. "And you?"
  "Hm?" Mike turned away from the window with a look of deep thought. "The odd job here and there. I never clung to anything for very long."
  "And what about when this is all over?" Lynne asked. She looked at Y/N, expecting an answer to her harmless question. "I see you and Hange are close. Sooo..."
  "Lynne." Nanaba shook her head.
  "I don't see myself making it through this." Y/N said. He paused in his sketches and carried a solemn expression. "Maybe buried where no one will find me."
  "I thought the same at your age." Mike said. Humor slipped into his voice, lightening the mood. "Life's too short to think about what's at or after the end. But if you're so keen on that idea I'll find a nice meadow for you."
  "That's comforting to know." They may not have known it, but he was genuine in his words. "And Hange's... I don't know."
  "No matter what others think—" Nanaba paused for a quick glance around the room. Her eyes screamed a subtle warning to those other than Y/N. "—we're not experts on that particular subject."
  "Like I said," Mike took a deep breath and settled in by the window. As he looked out, the midday bells rang, earning a few muffled cheers from the Garrison soldiers outside. "Life's short. Make sure you don't have any regrets whenever the ends there."
  "I'd regret not getting lunch." Nanaba sighed. The door opened, bringing the rest of the squad in with a rush. "Let's go."
  "Come on." Mike groaned as he stood. He was reluctant to leave after getting so comfortable. "You had all winter to finish that thing. Had."
  "Mm." Y/N set aside his pencil after setting one final line and circle. He looked back on his work for a moment with pride before joining the others.
  The hall was a mess of soldiers all rushing to the mess hall or spend their hour at a nearby tavern. When the Scouts caught sight of Mike they became more restrained, opting to walk instead of run and lower their voices from a rowdy shout.
  The stairs creaked and a door hinge squeaked when they left. Behind the heavy door, Y/N heard the faintest shouts from Levi. Someone hadn't oiled the door hinges like he told them to.
  "Hey, you." Y/N was broken out of his deeper thoughts with Petra's gentle greeting. "Are you heading out?"
  "I have to."
  "Mmm. See you there." She left with a smile. It took some effort for her to depart and not extend their conversation. But with Levi's advice in mind, she carried on.
  "Hey!" Oluo brushed past with Levi in tow. "Buy a beer for your good friend, Oluo, eh?"
  "He sees neither good nor friend." Eld gave him a push, moving him along.
  "What makes you say that??" Oluo questioned. He was offended.
  "You're blocking the way." Gunther grumbled.
  "Four-eyes is looking for you." Levi added before being lost in the crowd.
  It didn't surprise Y/N anymore when it came to Hange. Whether that be standing aside and waiting or why he did it so spontaneously.
  Life's too short. He hummed.
  The crowd began to die down, whittling down to a few soldiers here and there.
  "Hange's looking for you." Y/N didn't see who it was but he recognized Moblit.
  "Mhm."
  Not long after, when the last of the soldiers decided to lounge about headquarters, came Hange. Her loose and lazy ponytail was even more frazzled than usual. Y/N wondered what she was up to in the basement.
  "Oh!" She feigned surprise at his appearance. "Waiting for me, are you? Or someone else?"
  "Did you forget?" Y/N frowned. "I heard you wanted to see me."
  "Never mind." She rolled her eyes. "Come on. My pay came in so I'm going to spoil you today."
  "You mean my money."
  "Nooo." She raised a finger and corrected him. "My money."
  "Right..."
  "What would you do with all of that money anyway??" She asked. "Two weeks pay?? You aren't in debt, are you? I mean... letting one payment loose wouldn't tarnish your nonexistent reputation as a delivery man."
  "I'd rather not have you hang it over my head." He told her bluntly.
  "Me?" She clutched at her nonexistent pearls and gasped. "Why I'd never. To think I'd be accused of something so heinous."
  "Are you done?" Y/N asked and began to walk. "I'm starving."
  "Did you bring any money?" She asked and received an annoyed glance. "I'm joking! I'm joking!"

"What's so special all the way out here?"
  "Does everything have to mean something to you?" Hange asked. "Enjoy yourself for once."
  "You? Enjoy yourself?" Y/N scanned his surroundings with a thoughtful hum.
  She had led him to the edge of the district. Specifically where the fields of wheat were barren and awaiting the next seeding.
  Is she going to kill me? Y/N's amusing thought was cut short when Hange seated herself by the plain of snow.
  "I want to go outside." She whispered. "Well... with you."
  "Outside?" Y/N admitted that the thought wasn't unpleasant. But losing his head was. "Why?"
  "Research." She said with raised, curled fingers, quoting herself. "But really I'd like to test a certain... prototype. Do you still have your bushy little suit?"
  "More like a frozen one." During their long stay, Y/N had procured himself some white winter clothing. It cost a couple boxes of cigarettes and an armful of jewelry but now he was prepared for the staying winter.
  "Perfect!" She smiled. "We'll leave tomorrow evening."
  He shut his eyes and pondered the idea. The dangers and mountain of cons were too much of a risk. And then again, life was too short and he wasn't planning on retirement.
  "Does the Commander know?"
  "Somewhat." Her smile grew wider, almost becoming infectious. "Why? Are you coming?"
  "It's better than staying here." He sighed and sat beside her. The cold stone was sharp and a little uncomfortable. Had he been alone he would have opted for the ground.
  "That's the spirit." Without a hitch, she stood, pivoted around, and closed the distance.
  The discomfort of unfamiliar touch or closeness was a thing of the past. Y/N knew this was what he desired most and Hange wasn't one to tiptoe around feelings.
  She laid her lips on his cheek, wiping his thoughts clean like a swipe of a soapy rag.
  "Wha—?" Until it was too late, Y/N recoiled. He was startled the most and fighting a flutter within his chest the least.
  "Consider it one of many..." She parted with a whisper. And without another word she reached out, offering her hand while her softened expression practically demanded his.
  With only a small pause of consideration, he took her hand in his and stood. The unfamiliar sensation almost put him in a mire of hesitation.
  She lowered their linked digits and walked. Y/N followed along, allowing his hand to sway back and forth with her calm yet energetic movements.