CHAPTER XVIII

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Taehyun woke up to his alarm, drenched in cold sweat. Today was the second day in a row that he hadn't experienced a color rush. He couldn't stop shaking from the cold. His head was killing him. He never thought it would be this bad. He had been fine yesterday. But today? He felt like shit. A wave of nausea hit him, and Taehyun forced himself out of bed, his legs shaky, and walked towards the window. He opened it and let the fresh air fill his lungs. It made him feel a little better.

Two days without a color rush. Two days without being with his Beomgyu.

He missed Beomgyu. He needed Beomgyu.

Beomgyu was the only person who understood him.

Taehyun leaned his forehead against the window, feeling the cool glass against his hot skin. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm down. He knew he shouldn't be so dependent on Beomgyu, but he couldn't help it. Beomgyu was his anchor, his safe haven in a world that sometimes felt too overwhelming.

It would be fine. He would see Beomgyu later in class today.

His phone pinged on his bedside table. He nearly tripped over his own feet to rush and check it. It was Beomgyu. It had been sent about half an hour ago while his Do Not Disturb was still on.

Hey, sorry about last night. Something came up. I have to leave later today. I'll see you in a couple days?

Fuck.

Taehyun felt a lump forming in his throat. He tried to swallow it down, but it wouldn't budge. Beomgyu was leaving. That meant more days without him, more days without a color rush. He didn't know if he could handle it. Taehyun typed out a quick reply.

No worries, I understand. I'll see you when you get back.

His hands shook as he tried to put his phone down, but the device fell from his hands and clattered onto the floor. He didn't want to be alone. He wanted to be with Beomgyu, to feel his warmth, to hear his voice. He didn't know what to do. But he had to try. He had to learn how to be okay on his own, for Beomgyu, and for himself. Taehyun took a deep breath and opened his eyes.

He would try.

He would be okay.

He had to be.

He went to the bathroom to brush his teeth. He splashed some cold water on his face, breathing slowly through the pain of his headache. He changed into his school uniform and went to the living room, finding Yeonjun on the kitchen counter drinking a cup of coffee.

"Hey, Tae. You don't look so great. Everything okay?"

"I'm fine, hyung. I didn't sleep well," Taehyun said, forcing a weak smile on his face.

Yeonjun raised an eyebrow, unconvinced, but he let it be. "Well, if you need anything, just let me know," he said before taking another sip of his coffee. "Let's get you to school, kid."

Taehyun practically dragged himself into Yeonjun's car and remained silent throughout the ride. Yeonjun was talking about the Jeju case he was still working on, but Taehyun wasn't paying attention.

He stared out the window, trying to remember what the sky looked like when he could see color. He suddenly remembered when Beomgyu had shown him a sunset for the first time.

Back when they were first trying to get to know each other.

Back when Taehyun was trying to do everything he could to avoid Beomgyu.

Now, everything had changed.

It was like he couldn't spend a day apart from him, like a clingy boyfriend.

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