In the End

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"How many mistakes do we make before we see that we aren't good enough? How many cuts does it take for you to bleed out? How many people blew their heads off for less than that? How many people really care about you? How many people see your pain and say nothing? How many times do they tell you its gonna be alright? How many times do you cry because you have nothing else left to do? When do you see that your best is never good enough? When do you think that it will get better? Who do you want to prove wrong? Who made you what you feel? What stops you from saying fuck it and die? When will you die? Smile at the pain. Don't ask me why, just smile at it. At the end of the day, you'll see that it wont get better. They say you have to make it better, I say you have to make better deeper cuts until it does what its supposed to."

No matter who you are and what you do, something will define who you are. Some cases, you can decide what that thing is. In other circumstances, fate, or whatever that is, decides for you.

Sometimes we see change as a bad thing or it may just be our next big move. Whatever the case may be, we have to go through that change. Similarly to animals, we adapt differently. Someone once said that some people change, some adapt and some evolve. Which do you do?

Dear agony,
Is this the way its gonna be? Forever has dragged me in its clutches. Just know that I will fight you until you let go, because I know I won't. The memories have no face and the pain has no end. Leave me alone and let me live. I'm sorry that I let you control me until now. Every choice I've made was to help me in forgetting the details of everything that happened. I don't want to stay alive forever because if the hurt I hold on to. My arm is tired, my blade is dull and my pen is ink-less. I know I must be on to better days but they aren't coming fast enough. Every stage and every age so far has been a war. Recently, I have been hoping to whoever the higher power of this world is would make me win this one. I gained something that I would like to keep. I knew I could have died and I can die but fear kept me from dying. Now, I am no longer afraid. The only thing holding me back is a bond I formed with someone. At 12, I have nothing to give, the enemy is me. I'm hurting myself. I'm preventing me from living. No one really knows what happened. No one was there. They didn't feel their insides rip apart and their blood flow beneath them and no matter how much or how hard I fucking cried and kicked and screamed nobody heard. I must have just started middle school. Maybe second grade. It had hurt and it still does. I don't want to feel any of it again. My mind, my body cannot take that. Since then, everything went down hill. I can't end where I began. The pain. The pain, and the fact that I didn't know what it meant until they told me last year what rape was. That was when I knew. Three or four years after the last one. I wish I never found out, my ignorance would have saved me. I just want to get over it and my kind wont let me. There's nothing left for me besides one thing. Please, let me go.

Vaughn looked in the mirror and saw what everyone else saw; a normal person. She knows that the scars cannot be undone and the pain reversed but the ride was worth it. As for Marshall, he has had better days.

Maybe what is best for you isn't what you need. No one needs love, it's something they tell us that we need. What if we grew up differently? Would we have the same values? No one knows because you can never undo something as much as you would like to.

"You feed me fables."

The news report rang in the house of every individual that was breathing. The police got new information releases on the death of a former drug lord. The coverage had been going on for the past day and a half. They were covering his life from start to finish and showing the close calls they had to arresting him. He apparently went MIA for twelve years. Then, his body turned up ad a result of an anonymous call.

"A man was just shot on Springdale and Arling street, an ambulance is needed."

"We'll be right there. Do you know or see any identification on the man?" The dispatcher asked.

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