BLOODLINES [twd]

{11}

Lucas' body had never felt so weak in his life.

he felt double weighed down as Maggie rested on his chest. Her head tucked under his chin. 

No one said anything.

What was there to say?

Lucas looked at those around. Those that made it. Those that survived today.

Rick was his leader. He wanted to feel confident in Rick's ability.. but Lucas had never seen Rick break in the way he did with Negan. Maybe even Rick couldn't do anything this time.

Michonne looked guilty. Maybe she blamed herself for going along with Rick's confidence. Arrogance? Determination? Something. Either way, she stared at Glenn's body like it was her fault.

Rosita looked like a shell of who she once was. Lucas doesn't remember a time ever seeing Rosita sad or crying.. This was different. Abraham meant so much to her, even though he broke her heart. This was the second blow. The second time losing him.

Aaron looked tired. His eyes darted between the group members- waiting to be told what he could do to help. That's the kind of person he has always been. Putting others before himself. 

Sasha kept her face hidden in her hands. Lucas' heart ached even more for her. She was finally coming out of her shell and smiling for the first time since losing Bob and Tyreese. Now, just as Abraham broke her walls down and made her love again, he was taken away from her. 

Eugene cried to himself. Lucas had a lot of thoughts about Eugene, but not many of them were kind. He hadn't moved on from the glass in the gas tank incident that nearly got half of the group killed a few months ago. Eugene wanted to do better.. but he had a bad way about showing it. 

Carl was blank. But, Lucas can't remember the younger man having much emotion in him ever since having to shoot his own mother. Carl has always kind of looked void and cold since then. He didn't let people know how he felt. He didn't allow anyone to have the upper hand on him.

Lucas couldn't see Maggie's face from where she had it buried in Lucas' chest. Her grip was getting weaker. She was getting tired. The pain of whatever is wrong with the baby.. the crying.. screaming.. grief of losing Glenn. It was catching up to her.

Weaker and weaker.. Maggie was fading.

"Noona?" Lucas whispered.

Maggie sniffled, tired and sad. "I'm.. I'm gonna lose.."

The baby. 

Maggie felt like she was losing the baby.

The one thing they still had of Glenn.

Lucas inhaled sharply and deeply, startling a few members of the group.

He situated Maggie in his arms and pushed himself off his knees, picking Maggie up bridal style.

"Lucas," Rick called.

Lucas grunted and steadied his hold on Maggie so he could stand up straight.

"Lucas," Rick called again. "Take it easy."

"There's no time," Lucas denied, his voice grave and deeper than usual.

Michonne was the second person to stand up.

"Lu, I know-"

"Don't," Lucas shot her down. "Just.. Don't."

Lucas hadn't felt a rage like the one he was feeling now. The sadness was fading. His anger was bubbling. He felt like screaming. He felt like punching a tree.

"Maggie needs-"

"Maggie needs to go to Hilltop," Sasha said, the third person to stand. "And we'll get her there."

Lucas dared one look back at Sasha. He recalled the times Maggie and Sasha cried over the losses of their siblings. The deaths of Beth and Tyreese were only days apart. She quirked an eyebrow at Lucas and gave him a nod. That was all it took for Lucas to know that no one understood and sympathized with Maggie in the way Sasha did right now. He nodded back, stiff and rigid.

Aaron was the next to stand. He held a hand to Lucas like he was readying to brace Maggie's fall from Lucas' arms. As if Lucas was too unstable to carry her right now.

Rick finally stood up. He got in Lucas' way and stared Lucas in the eyes. Sad and pitiful. Heartbroken for the young man he'd known over the years.

Lucas shook his head. "You didn't stop back then. Don't stop me."

The prison. The rage Rick had after losing Lori. The way he left his two children for days at a time to roam around the prison and kill walkers like a madman.

Lucas goes to walk past Rick who sidesteps to block him once more. "It's because of that that I can't let you go down that road." Rick held a hand up to Lucas like coaxing a wild animal to calm down. "Let us help you."

Lucas felt cornered. Maybe Rick was using that motion because Lucas was suddenly a wild animal. What did he look like to them? Wide eyes that darted around in search of danger? Shaking hands and stuttered breaths?

"Lu, just let me walk it," Maggie whispered. 

Lucas gripped her leg a little tighter, a sign he wasn't letting go.

Sasha and Aaron placed a hand on either side of Lucas' arms. He startled at the contact and backed away, though they followed him.

Trapped. Lucas felt trapped.

"You're gonna get to Hilltop.. Just.. You don't have to do this alone," Rick begged. "Please, Lucas."

Lucas blinked for the first time in a while and Rick went blurry in his eyesight. Tears. More goddamn tears. 

"It's okay.." Aaron eased, carefully helping Maggie to the ground, out of Lucas' arms.

Lucas' chin trembled. Why was Rick looking at him like that? Like Lucas was a bomb about to go off? 

Maggie, once on her own two feet, rubbed Lucas' arm and hobbled over to Glenn's body. 

Rick inched closer and Lucas took another step back. Another step closer, another step back. Finally, Rick sighed and bent lower. "This isn't the way to do it. He has an army. We'd never stand a chance."

He.

Lucas' top lip curled in disgust.

Rick couldn't even say the monster's name. After weeks of gloating and parading around for wiping out Negan's men, Rick was now too scared to even utter the name.

The rage gets stronger. Lucas turned and came inches from the side of the RV that Rick had backed him into in pursuit of calming him. Blinded, Lucas punched the side of the RV- denting the metal. The crack in his knuckles was almost as loud as the boom that echoed from the blow.

He tugged at his hair and choked out a cry. Rick momentarily patted Lucas' shoulder from behind, but didn't say anything further.

No one.

No one was there to comfort Lucas as he broke down again.

He stood alone at the murder scene of his brother and cried to himself. 

𝒶𝓊𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓇 𝓇𝒶𝓂𝒷𝓁𝑒𝓈--

someone please hug lucas he needs it