𝗙𝗔𝗨𝗟𝗧𝗦 | anakin skywalker

✰ 65: learning

Once they were up in the atmosphere, Obi-Wan and Rex took to the bridge while Ahsoka sat with Anakin and the unconscious Akya. She sat across from him as he stared down at Akya, and Ahsoka could see how much he cared for her.  She wasn't sure what exactly had happened, but by the way he'd looked down when she had asked where she was, she assumed it was of his own accord.

It was weird, seeing her master— former master— like this.  Her whole life, he'd been this incredibly strong person.  Sure, he gave into emotions, but those were usually anger and passion, not... sadness.  Even before he was her master, talk of the "Chosen One" and all the missions the legendary Anakin Skywalker went on filled her life, and she had been very happy when she learned he was to be her master. He was cocky at first, but she warmed up to him, and so did he.  They were made for each other.

But now, her master needed her to give the pep talk.  She needed to be there for him. 

The only thing was, she wasn't really sure where to start.

"I'm sorry, Anakin," was all she could come up with.  "About Akya."

Anakin didn't look up at Ahsoka. Instead, he sighed, and said, "You shouldn't feel sorry for me," he said. "I did this.  How could I be so stupid?"

"Palpatine fooled all of us," she said.  "He made all of this.  He manipulated you.  This wasn't your fault.  It was his."

"But I still did it." He finally turned to face her.  She'd never felt so much emotion coming from him at once, a cloud of misunderstanding and lost hope.  "I knew it was wrong, and I still did it.  Because I thought I could save her."

"But you're back now.  Your turn to the dark is over."

"It's not!" he shouted, making Ahsoka's eyes widen a bit.  He took a deep, shaky breath, and looked down.  "I still feel it," he said, his voice low again.  "Calling me.  He knows." He looked up at Ahsoka again.  "Palpatine knows I've turned back.  I can feel him trying to reach out to me.  If I go to sleep, I'll have more nightmares.  If I stay awake, the Force disturbs me.  It's trying to push away the light, because it succeeded once before.  And if it does again, I..." He trailed off. 

"When she wakes up, she's going to be happy to see you," Ahsoka said.  "Just like I was.  I don't care what you did, Anakin.  You're still my friend.  You're still my master.  You're the same Anakin you were when I left."  Ahsoka knew that wasn't true.  But she decided to say it anyway, because she wanted to convince both herself and Anakin.  It really didn't matter to her what he'd done, mostly because she didn't know.  She didn't care.  She liked to think that this Anakin was the same one she'd left only days ago.

Anakin looked back down at Akya.  "Ahsoka," he said.  "I have something to tell you."

"You love her, right?"

Anakin looked at his former Padawan.  "What?"

"You're in love with her."

Anakin opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out.  He paused for a moment, then finally replied, "How did you know?"

"I think I had a hunch for a while," she said plainly.  "Probably the way you guys held hands under briefing tables, or maybe just the way you look at her.  No one who isn't close to you would know.  But those eyes you make at her... that isn't the way you look at an old friend."

Anakin smiled weakly at the ground.  "I'm that obvious?"

"Just a little."

"I don't, um..." Ahsoka's brows scrunched, wondering what more Anakin had to say.  "That's not all of it."

"There's more?"

"We're married," he said. 

"What?" Ahsoka's brows raised.  "When?"

"A while ago," he said.  "We went to Naboo one day, and just... decided."

"That's... that's wonderful, Anakin."

"And she's pregnant."

Ahsoka's mouth was left hanging open.  "You're— you're serious." 

Anakin nodded.

"That's..." She sighed, shaking her head.  "Wow. That's a lot. I mean, it's wonderful, it is, but— I just... wasn't expecting it."

Anakin gave a dry chuckle.  "Neither was I," he said. 

"How long have you two been together, that you're married, she's with child?"

Anakin shook his head, smiling a little.  "Too long," he said.  "Longer than I've known you.  I was just a Padawan.  You know—" He looked up at Ahsoka— "she didn't want to go through with it at first.  She wanted to adhere to the Jedi Code.  But I pushed her.  We couldn't really deny our feelings anymore.  So we decided to keep everything a secret."  He took a deep breath, then looked back down at Akya again.  "If I hadn't pushed her..." he began.  "If I had ignored my feelings... I don't think we'd be here.  I'd be... I don't know." He shook his head.  "Dead in a ditch somewhere.  But she'd be alive," he said.  "She would be alive, and she would be happy."

"Don't do that to yourself," said Ahsoka.  "She needed you just like you needed her. The past is the past, and that's something you can't fix right now. You don't get a do-over, Anakin. Right now, we should think about the future."

Anakin sighed, then looked up at his Padawan.  "I'm glad you're here," he said to her.  "I'm glad you're alive."

Ahsoka gave a dry chuckle and a smile.  "I'm glad I'm here, too."

"I was the master," he said.  "But there's a lot I can learn from you."

"I'm not just your Padawan," she said.  "I'm your friend.  That's what I'm here for."

Anakin smiled, then took a deep breath. The grin faded away as he looked down at his wife.

"If it's any consolation," Ahsoka began, standing up, "I think she'll forgive you."  Anakin looked up at the Togruta.  In that moment, Akya began to stir.  Ahsoka saw the girl's chest rise further than it had in the past few minutes as she took a deep waking breath, then watched her blink her eyes a couple times, choosing to keep them closed to shield the light. 

"You do?"

Ahsoka nodded.  "I do," she said.  "But if you want the real answer, I suggest you ask her." Ahsoka glanced behind him with a smile.

Anakin scrunched his brows in confusion, but once he realized what Ahsoka had said, he turned around, and a smile grew on his face as he saw his wife slowly waking up.  Ahsoka took a step toward the bridge so that she could go speak with Obi-Wan and Rex, leaving Anakin and Akya to themselves.  Anakin put a hand on Akya's cheek and before she could open her eyes fully, took one thankful glance back at Ahsoka before the blast doors opened up to the bridge.  She stepped inside, leaving the Skywalkers to finally speak to each other again.

a.n.:

SHE'S BACK.  SHE'S ALIVE. i love getting to write "the skywalkers" it's so fun.  

sometimes i think about the fact that the prequels had to happen the way they originally did, the way they were written, because the beautiful story about finding good even in the worst of people would otherwise never happen.  luke was always the only one who could have turned anakin back.  and I love star wars and the way it played out, i couldn't have asked for better (i'm only talking about eps 1-6 lol). but isn't difference what fanfiction is for? yeah, it is.

anyway, that's my rant.  don't forget to vote :)

molly