Listen to the Water | FULL SERIES | Wattys 2022 Shortlist | ✔

(16) Ande: Allies for Friends

Taiki managed to intercept my village and his tribe like he was hoping to, and I need to stop not-seeing my family for moons on end. I know I don't really have a choice about it if I'm to keep doing what I'm doing and fighting against the war, but it doesn't stop my throat from hurting as my father's hug engulfs me, and my mother closes it from behind. Pinned between them, I feel safer for a moment than I think I've felt in moons. Since last seeing them, most likely. Those two things are connected. I know, logically, that I'm probably safer with strong fighters like Ruka or locked-down forts like Underfarrow than with my people in Roshaska, but there are different kinds of safety, and this is one of them. I refuse to believe otherwise.

There's a part of me that's shaking a little now where it wasn't before, from the possibilities of what could have happened had that interception in Roshaska not been successful. Now that my people are safe, it's sinking in that they were about to head back out into the three-moon deep, where Andalua has been picking off mid-water Shalda tribes for generations. I don't know how many island villages have gone with them, but the Sandsingers have matched every village they sing down with a mid-water tribe. It's an aching reminder that for all the work Makeba is doing, it will never be enough on its own.

When my parents let me go again and finish interrogating me about where I've been, what I've been doing, and whether I'm properly looked after, there are two other people waiting. The ache in my throat returns. I don't know how to greet Satomi or Naina.

Satomi saves me the trouble, uncrossing her arms to indicate my now-two daggers. "If you have to go dangerous places, do you at least know how to use those?"

I try to laugh. "Casin's been teaching me."

It's been more than just Casin; Ruka's helped, too, and Yaz has now shown me a few techniques for defending myself in the absence of weapons. She says the fastest way to neutralize most weapons-fighters is to take away their weapons, and that my biggest advantage as someone who normally stabs things is being able to switch tools. I've chipped more than a few rocks with the backs of my daggers—or with other rocks—since I started practicing. Nearly elbowed Yaz in the face, too. She just grinned and said she took it as a compliment that I was getting faster.

Satomi's eyes rove over Casin, and my heart sinks again. I don't know what's going on behind those eyes right now, but I'm currently here with a Saru-Kel, a Shalda shark-Kel, and a red signal squid Kel, all of whom I happen to know Taiki's people have opinions about. It's not a battle I feel like fighting right now, especially if I don't know when—even if—I'll be back from this infiltration mission in Rapal.

"Is she on our side?" signs Satomi.

"Yes."

I'm glad, at least, that Casin is the most unobtrusive of the three I'm here with. For someone with shoulders as broad as my father's and a faster spear-strike than Ruka, she shows a marked tendency to make herself look smaller than she actually is, and not to step on anybody's toes. Which isn't an analogy that works underwater, but I don't really feel like finding an alternative right now.

"When are you coming back?" asks Satomi.

"I don't know."

"Who are you trying to find?"

Ruka told me to omit that in whatever I tell people outside Underfarrow, and I have been thus far. "We can't say," I sign. "It's too dangerous."

Satomi huffs, but doesn't protest. Then a dark hand lands on her shoulder and pulls her aside. I stop myself from shrinking back a fin-beat as Naina takes her place.

"Stay safe, okay?" she signs.

"I'll try."

"We'd miss you."