Descendent of the Sky

Riding- KAYA POV

Sai and I are sitting outside the barn, keeping an eye out as we realize we aren't all that helpful inside. The time is passing quickly, and the sun is beginning its descent into the hills. Staring at the light that was slowly fading, my mind started racing. I can't seem to reconcile the Ronan I have seen with Sai and Deirdre to the one I experienced as a child. Sure, he's cocky and he doesn't want me around, but don't I make it known that I don't want him around? Am I the issue?

The first time I had ever even taken note of his existence was when we were ten, and he'd just come to manifest his wind powers.

The teachers had announced it at school, and all the students went around and gave him congratulations, including myself. I had smiled at him, but he just gave me a shy smile and a wave before shuffling along to the next class, but there was no animosity. Normally, my classmates would either ignore me completely OR they would relentlessly bully me, beating me up verbally and physically. I had hoped, after seeing Ronan smile at me, that maybe I had found someone who could at least be neutral to me.

Later that same day when I was walking home to Safe Haven, a group of some older students had followed me to the cliffside. They'd surprised me, and forced me over the cliff's edge with their gifts and sent me sprawling down to the Ravine. My telekinesis had just manifested as well, and wasn't strong enough to save me from the fall. I was terrified- I'd never been down there without my mom before. I had tried to grip the rocks and roots jutting out on the wall, but it was no use. I landed at the bottom with a heavy thud, and my hands were raw, bleeding, and all of my fingernails had been ripped off. Looking up, I had seen Ronan- I had tried to plead for help. Either he couldn't hear me, or he didn't care. Any time I tried to climb back up to the top, he would help send wind to knock me down again.

Nausea threatened to take hold of me. Those memories? How could I ever reconcile the kids who did that to me with any decent fucking human being? They were monsters. Yes, we were young, but so was I, and I had more drive than anyone to be a little cunt bag. Was I? Fucking NO. There's no excuse.

Waiting for my stomach to settle, I try to think about something else, but it's difficult when I'm sitting outside a stupid stable, keeping watch for a total asshole so that we can go steal from his old guild. Sai and Deirdre are the only reasons I'm here and yet I find myself worried about their genuine feelings because of what stupid Nina told me in the bathroom last night.

I just feel like I'm drowning. If I think about everything too much, I want to crumble into a million pieces. I'm trying so hard every day to show up and be the best version of myself. I'm trying to carve out a space in the Sky Faction for my mother and I, and nothing works with me, only against me.

My thoughts are so consuming that the sounds of shuffling and hooves hitting the ground doesn't register before I'm being yanked into the air and tossed, landing abruptly on the back of the taller horse.

"Ummm excuse me?" I'm sprawled over the saddle, hanging off both sides. "What the fuck?"

"Sorry, Angel, but we only have two horses and so you're going to have to ride with one of us. I'm more experienced, so Sai asked me to do it," Ronan's gruff voice came from the ground, I can't see him with my hair sprawled over my eyes.

"Yes, I did ask you to take her, but I expect you to be gentle with her. Also, angel is a nickname only for Deirdre and I to use." Sai huffs, already on his horse.

I crawl around, trying to maneuver to an upright and comfortable position, but I feel like a baby deer trying to walk for the first time. How the hell-

"Have you ever been on a horse before?" Ronan is fighting a fucking smile - and losing.