The Insufferable Pain of Life

Chapter One

"Maybe I should try some make up? Or maybe a facial cream?" I keep wondering to myself about the make up or cream while I stare at my complexion and then, as if she was talking the whole time, Mum walks in and starts to talk when I cut her off. "Mum, before you say anything, what's your favourite place to hang out?" I tell myself it's a stupid question, but Mum can't resist those. I just need to plan out our conversation. I need to get her opinion on what to do with my face. Maybe I should slip it in slightly over the next couple weeks?
I do need those creams, with my pale complexion, and large eyes. Mum says large eyes are really attractive, but combine them with pale skin, straight black hair and a name that literally means ghost in Korean. Mum keeps trying to convince me that I'm the gem in a box of stones that is life, but everyone knows that that's her. I'm just a pebble compared to her. And she knows it too.
She answers before I can finish any more thoughts "It took a lot of deduction, but I love to hang out at that little place by the river. You know the one." I do know the one. I look into her Green eyes as I nod and can't help looking over her one more time, even though I've done it thousands of times before. Nice, short black hair, oval shaped face and small body. You'd never tell she's a 37 year old mum since she looks like young, healthy 23 year old.
After I assess her, I turn to look in the mirror stand infront of me. In the mirror, I see a 16 year old girl with long black hair, like tar, an oval face shape with side swept bangs, as well as a small figure. Me and Mum are always told we look so much like each other, but Mum just has that radiant smile that I can't master. That's the biggest difference between us, but there are just so many clear differences. I look back at Mum and realise she's been talking this whole time. What's wrong with me recently?
"Ryu, what's up?", she says while staring at me with those beautiful, big eyes. I know that I have to reply but I don't what to reply with. I know I'm not completly a-ok, but I know I've been hiding my true feelings for years now. She continues, "You've been kind of off since you got that message after we moved away from Korea.
Ahhhh yes. The message. The one from Beom Seok, my crazy ex-boyfriend from my old high school in Korea. He was completly insane, but when I dated him, he seemed fine. At least, at first. There was this eerie aura about him and before we broke up. Now that I've broken up with him, I see that he's a total creep.
"Ryo, you've been zoning out the whole time I've been talking. What is wrong? Why are you suddenly so distracted? Have I done something to upset you?" Mum's visibly upset. I see it written all over her face. I don't know what to do in these situations. I don't make Mum upset too often, and when I do, something magically happens.
"Mum... I'm really sorry. It's just... Me and his... kind of ex anniversary and it's got me all... worried and shit-" "Ahh ah ah... No swearing. remember my rule."
That's the thing about Mum. She always has to enforce her rules no matter what I'm saying. This is one of the reasons I don't talk to anyone. No-one listens.
"Yes. Sorry, Mum. I just meant that I'm not feeling the best. I should head to school, now."
"Hunny, It's 8:30. We live right near the school, and, you don't need to be early to go to school with those dirt bags, anyway." I know she's right. She pretty much always is.
I stand up, to get ready for school, when I hear Mum mutter something under her breath. Oh no, here it comes. The only ugly side of Mum.
"Why do you even have to get ready? You've given your all for the people in this community, yet you still push and push and push on. Why even try? You'll get further if you let me homeschool you. It's so much easier than going and having a crap time."
I go to say that I don't want to to get the career I want- whatever that is, but instead I say "Fine! I'll think about it! Just please let me think about it!" She's contemplating her answer as I trun my head. I hear her say a small yes, before she walks out of the room. I get ready and head out the door. As I'm walking, I see someone who makes me feel uneasy.