The Other Man

Ch5 - The first knock on the door

A week passes by. Tay is only as good as a dry leaf. He got New's number from his application form but never dared to text him. He didn't know what he can possibly do or say to comfort him after such a loss. He felt little okay, knowing that New has Earth and his friends. He is walking aimlessly in the campus when suddenly, his heart beat picks up when he sees New in the campus. New resumed his college from today. He looked different. His eyes looked dark, his smile was gone, his shoulders looked sagged and it looked like he was carrying the weight of the world.

Loss has its creepy way of taking away a piece of you forever and the biggest irony is that it also leaves something behind - pain. The New Thitipoom, whose laughter once filled joy in life of Tay, was lost.

When he was away from college, he had refused to meet anyone. Even Earth let him take his time to bounce back.

Next day, when New entered the class, he bumped his head into Tay who seemed to be waiting for him, "Ouch," New screamed rubbing his forehead.

"I am so sorry. I hope I didn't hurt you?" Tay said panicking and rubbing his own head for a second.

"No. I am okay," New replied. Tay bent down to pick the papers that fell from his hand. New bent down too, to help him.

"I came to give you these notes. I was passing by the staff room and a professor handed over these for you to catch up with the missed classes," Tay said nervously still picking the notes.

"They gave you or you went to collect from them?" New looked at Tay and asked. Tay was caught off guarded, "W-well, what matters is the notes. Right?" New looked how Tay was dodging his eyes. He held his wrist, eyes boring into him. Tay looked at him, his hands fidgeted a little. New firmed his grip, eyes still boring into him and not saying anything. The silence engulfed them for a moment. New was yearning. For something, he didn't know what. But something. Anything. When Tay touched New's hand which was holding Tay's arm, New realized what he wanted. He wanted to be held. Just held. By Tay. Or by anyone?

With his grandfather's death, he was feeling like he was cut loose from all his roots. And with that, from the love & comfort he used to receive from the only person in his universe.

"Are you okay?" Tay's words brought New back to his senses. He immediately threw Tay's hand away and got up, "Thanks for the notes. I will go through the same." Tay rose to his height, and handed over the notes. It was New who was dodging his eyes now.

***

When the classes ended, Earth nervously tried to talk to New, "New, how are you now?"

"I am better. Thanks Earth", New replied but his eyes looked empty without a hint of emotion as he packed his bag and started to move.

As he was moving, Earth held him from his wrist and stopped him, "New..." and with a single touch, he turned and threw himself in Earth's arms, hugging him tightly. He broke like a dominos, waiting to fall at one single nudge. Tears fell from his eyes like they didn't fell just yesterday, and the day before that, the whole week. "He was the only one who loved me in my family Earth. Nobody else loves me. You know how my family is to me. I miss him so much. I-I feel so unhinged. I feel like I don't belong to anyone to anywhere now." New said breaking down in Earth's arms.

Earth let him cry it all out, "It's okay New. I am there. I will always be with you, okay? Always remember that."

Why does pain attract pain? Life throws in one painful moment and all other pain your have been suppressing within since your childhood, make their way to the surface. New's thoughts are blurred again. He reminisces how Earth's arms once had comforted him in his rough time when he met him for the first time. He felt like he can fight the world if he has Earth with him. And right now, in his arms, he feels like he is nothing other than the chaos he has always been. His eyes are wide open, sobs softened - I will always be with you, Earth's words sound nothing more than the hollow promises. How long is 'always'?

New leaves his embrace and nods to whatever Earth was saying without meeting his eyes.

***

One more week passes by. All the events are over, the studies are back to normal, the exams are closing in. Everything is getting back on track in the campus except for New Thitipoom. His smile has not returned. The boy will be celebrating his 21st birthday tomorrow but looks joyless.

On his birthday, Earth drags him to the locker room.

"What is it Earth? I really want to go to my condo already."

"Just five minutes okay. It's your birthday."

They enter the room and New is surprised to see all of his mates from football team, his coach, his friends and his classroom peers present there to wish him a happy birthday. New is for the first time uncomfortable being around the people he has known since a long time now. Nonetheless, his heart feels warm. They all sing the birthday song in chorus. He thanks everyone for their efforts to fill his day with joy. As the celebration ends and people disperse, Earth asks, "Are you not happy?"

"No. It's not like that. I am really happy. Thank you, Earth," New replies with a smile which still didn't reach his eyes.

"Okay then let me come to your place and help you open all these presents. Okay?" Earth offers excitedly.

"Okay. Sure. You can come," Earth is always welcome.

***

They are sitting in New's condo.

New is making some snacks for them to eat in the open kitchen connected to the living room where Earth is seated opening the presents one by one and reading out loud the wishes cards attached to the gifts, for New to hear.

1. "You are the Rockstar of this University. Happy birthday New! It's a candle with fragrance from Prim."

2. "Happiesst birthday pretty boy. If you hadn't asked out Ea.. Earth", Earth pauses for a while and now reads slowly, "I would have asked you out. It's a silver bracelet from Force." New hears it all but doesn't react at all. Eyes still focused on and hands still busy with making the snacks. "You have a lot of fans, must I say?" Earth points out.

3. "Hi Newwiee!", New's ears perk up, "I hope this fits you. Wishing you a very happy birthday. Okayy. It's a T-shirt from...uhmm... your fan. Oh! Who is this? Now I am seriously jealous," Earth mentions.

New rushes to the living room, "Can you open it?"

"Sure. Wait. You know this person?", Earth removes the transparent plastic, "Oh! There is something written on the T-shirt. Wait - Techaapaikhun's most loved grandson."

New stares blankly but his heart is racing.

***

It's 8 in the evening. Tay just finished his dinner. He is lazily scrolling through the fan account of New he had created. He smiles like stupid reading all the birthday wishes on the account from his followers and he hears a knock.

He opens the door to find New standing with his hand resting against the threshold, wearing the T-shirt he gifted him. He knows. Tay immediately thought.

"Did you gift me this one?" Asked New eyes sharply looking at Tay. Tay doesn't know what to respond and just watches New blankly. Tay deliberates what to say next. His answer would determine the remaining period they have to spend in college. Besides, New wouldn't be here if he didn't know, there is no point lying.

"Yeah. Yeah. I gifted th...", and before Tay could finish his sentence, New grabbed his head and landed his lips on Tay's. His feet teetered 2-3 steps backwards due to the force but New didn't let go of him. Tay is pushed inside his condo and the door is closed behind them.

***